Vengeance & Remission Read online

  #7 RECONING SONG

  Marcus Lucius woke up as he heard someone coming closer. He was unarmed, the sword he divested from Hadrian laid in the dining room. However, Marcus Lucius could fight even with bare hands. He wasn't calmer as he saw Pompeius, who took his hands in the air in the way that signed Marcus Lucius a good intend. Julia didn't react and slept deep as a stone in the ocean.

  -Your mother arrived. - Pompeius announced and his usually wry smirk seemed to be more friendly. - Before you go there, I have to talk with you.

  Marcus Lucius didn't make any impression to be willing to stand up and leave the place. He squinted his eyes and observed Pompeius's awaiting face. Slowly and mindful in respect of Julia's sleep, he stood up and moved forwards to Pompeius. They didn't leave the tepidarium. They simply went away a couple of meters. It was far enough to not disturb Julia's sleep and close enough for Marcus Lucius to come back to her without problems if needed.

  -I know that you have all reasons not to trust me, and I won't play to be a friend of you. I don't trust you, either, even if I respect you.

  -Fair enough. - Marcus Lucius said and waited for further remarks.

  -I don't know what you've already heard about my actions related to your woman or your friend Nerva, but I assure you that they weren't in danger as long as they were followed by me. My task was to keep an eye on your camp without directly visiting you here. Believe me, it wasn't easy to keep the distance to such a demanded man. Hadrian already sent his orders and I stayed dutiful.

  -Why do you tell me all this?

  -You have a decision to make. I wanted you to know my point.

  -Why? - Marcus Lucius probed.

  -Your father was a direct, wise man. He was independent and didn't listen to the commanders with higher ranks. He was also the first one, who back me up as everybody ignored me and pushed me to the lower ranks. He would appreciate me giving you the encouragement to find out the truth about his murder. We have the same goal, Marcus Lucius. Even if we're not friends, we act in concert.

  Marcus Lucius nodded. Pompeius sounded convincing. They shook hands in a sign of accord and at least temporary agreement. Marcus Lucius's pressure showed his power, even if he didn't try to boast. Pompeius followed Marcus Lucius's eyes.

  -I see you'd like to ask a question. - Pompeius said. - Go ahead.

  -What happened to you that you're so wry? - Marcus Lucius said straight.

  Pompeius smiled crooked. There were some sparkles of amusement in his eyes. It showed that he found the bad or difficult topic slightly amusing or ironic, but also somewhat forced.

  -My past is more interesting for you than your mother. What happened with the loving son?

  They both smiled meaningfully. Pompeius moved more relaxed.

  -You're father died. That's what happened. - Pompeius added somewhat strangely freely. It sounded bitter, but not sad. There were undefined many different, bad occurrences between the moment as Maximus was alive and the current moment. There were many unconducive experiences that Pompeius had to collect. Their traces were written as wrinkles and scars on his face. Marcus Lucius noticed already some of them, but some of them were more visible from such a close distance. At first now, Marcus Lucius recognized that it was impossible for Pompeius to smile like any average person. His crooked smile, the kind of smile some people use when they are trying not to smile, wasn't conditionally meant to be icily and lopsidedly. Even if he would try to smile friendly, it would look less kindly due to a muscle weakness of his right cheek. It wasn't a twitch that Marcus Lucius saw already a couple of times on soldiers' faces. It was probably a consequence of two injuries. Two well healed, in the meanwhile almost imperceptible scars nestled on his face. The one stretched from his right ear up to the middle of his chick. The second one was thin and tiny as if it was cut superficially, but deep enough to snip the risorius, the muscle of facial expression, which inserts onto the skin at the angle of the mouth. It was immovable. Pompeius simply wasn't able to smile friendly. It made it harder to estimate what Pompeius was thinking and whether his expression was ironic, dry or rather cordial.

  -Thank you. - Marcus Lucius said.

  -For what? - Pompeius visibly stunned.

  -For honesty.

  -Go to your woman, son of Maximus. She has to get prepared. You're expected in the dining room. Your friend Nerva kicks his heels nervously.

  Marcus Lucius's eyes got brighter as he heard Nerva's name. Pompeius noticed it and saluted before he left the place. The salutation was unnecessary. Pompeius's rank was higher than Marcus Lucius's, but it was a kind of confirming the good relationship between them or a sign of respect. Marcus Lucius didn't analyse it further. He stepped closer to Julia and kneed in front of her. He stroked her nose gently and smiled dreamy. She opened her eyes and smiled back.

  -Is it real? - She asked with a sleepy note in her voice. She percepted the good mood and calm attitude of Marcus Lucius. He seemed to be relaxed and it was a total change compared to the day before. She liked his buoyant attitude and she didn't like to destroy the good-humoured mood by any question that appeared in her mind. She wanted to know the plan. She wanted to know how to support him.

  -It is. - He confirmed quietly and kissed her cheek. He noticed her concerns that brought dark shadows in her eyes. - You have to get prepared.

  He helped her to get up and minded that she was still covered in the warm blanket. His left arm embraced her back and pushed gently in the direction of the dining room. She was excited and divided. She wasn't sure what she should expect.

  As they stepped in the lobby and as Julia saw Nerva, she ran to him and hugged him spontaneously. Marcus Lucius smiled, because such an explosion of good emotions was needed as every sunrise after every night. Julia was a sparkle that made the room glowing with a special, warm light.

  Nerva was completely blank as he held Julia is his arms. Automatically, he hugged her, but he didn't expect her to show such a joy just due to the fact that she saw him. Instinctively, Nerva looked to Marcus Lucius who stepped forwards, but far enough to leave free space for Julia. Nerva communicated with just a wink of his eye that he was fine. Marcus Lucius didn't move his head, but his eyes showed enough for Nerva to relax and hug Julia without worries.

  Her blanket felt to the ground. She didn't care about the soldiers in the room and she didn't notice as Pompeius stepped in the room, stopped moving and looked at the welcoming scene. As she was close to Nerva's body, she whispered her sorrowed question:

  -Are you fine?

  She wasn't able to see the messages exchanged silently by Nerva and Marcus Lucius. She was visibly worried and tensed. Nerva knew he had to assure her that there was no need to be worried at the moment, so his lips moved closer to her ear and he whispered:

  -Hey yourself. - He sounded relieved, good.

  Her tension decreased and it influenced Nerva significantly. Before she managed to make two steps back, while she was still gazing at Nerva, she was intercepted by Marcus Lucius, who lifted off her blanket. He enveloped her with the material again and kept her in his range inconspicuously. Pompeius observed how Marcus Lucius stayed calm, how he greeted Nerva brotherly, how he showed by the short, probably a strong, but not bear-like handshake, that everything was fine, how he nodded with his head to welcome Pompeius in the room. It was a very special art of attention that was required from any good, leading soldier.

  -I'll bring you, daughter of Julius Fabius, to your chamber. - Pompeius announced and waited until Marcus Lucius nodded minimally as a sign of acceptance. It was sure that Pompeius wouldn't act in any way that could grate on Marcus Lucius like you don't attempt to tease a wild lion.

  Marcus Lucius's hand on Julia's back pushed her gently and almost invisibly for others. It was the signal for her to go. She didn't feel like a silent lamb that was lead to a slaughterhouse. She felt safe and backed up by Marcus Lucius. Knowing that he was in the house, just few rooms away from her, that he wasn't prisoned and could move freely, and even
if he would be impeded, he would come and rescue her. She went with her heart and it gave her enough feeling of security to act calmly and to spread it around her. She wasn't aware of how powerful in her dainty she appeared.

  Pompeius didn't dare to get into conversation with Julia. He was tensed, again, but in a different way. He could estimate how precious she was. There was no price that could be repaid, if she would get any, even the smallest damage, or if she would just say a word of complaint. It was sure. It was predictable. It was clear. Pompeius liked these straight relations here, because it made his life easier. He hated the complicated games, where you never could be completely sure who was planning what and in which constellation you could blunder suddenly. Pompeius was smart enough not to get involved into any unnecessary struggle nor with Marcus Lucius, nor with his friends like Nerva or Appius, nor with the emperor himself. Hadrian expressed his wish to treat everyone involved with appropriate respect. Pompeius needed to get to know someone better to decide whether how to deal with a person. Mostly, he kept the distance as long as he could. He knew already the taste of betrayal and he avoided any further opportunity to experience it again. It felt so enjoyably comfortable just to accompany somebody and not to mix anything into a special direction. Usually, he had to manage everything, keep the overview and coordinate the actions needed to keep the order corresponding to the directives of the emperor. He already met two emperors during his life and he learnt humbleness needed to survive on the higher level of politics. He knew that he didn't suit to the middle ranks. He didn't like to be pushed from the bottom and from the top at the same time. He had to change it and he managed it. It cost him a lot of scars he collected on his body and scratches of his soul that he tried to heal.

  Pompeius's face didn't change his expression as he let Julia in her chamber and ordered his own guards to stay there. Then, he turned back and went to the dining room, where Marcus Lucius conferred with Nerva. They whispered. A special connection showing friendship and understanding between them was perceptible in the short sentences that were exchanged instead of longer explanations that were usual to agree upon a strategy. It reminded Pompeius about the times when the world was less complicated, because it was filled with reliable allies. Pompeius thought about the back up of Maximus.

  As they met for the very first time, Pompeius used to be a young soldier, who wasn't able to bite his tongue, when it was advisable. Pompeius was unexperienced and rebellious, because he was convinced that saying truth was needed. The old habits used to promote conformist values and supported visibly loyal, but not always real supporters. Pompeius's courage pushed him to oppose and he collected a lot of setbacks. He didn't give up to stay straight and proud. Then, Maximus picked him from a group of soldiers. It was a sudden announcement and Pompeius stunned what was the cause. Maximus wasn't a person, who talked much. He limited his words and actions. He was a spontaneous man, but his reactions had to be observed attentively. Everything he had to communicate was in his eyes or a gentle, but adamant movement of the head. Watching Marcus Lucius was nice, because there was the same strength captured in the minimal moves.

  Maximus taught Pompeius how to calm down and how to stay focussed on the target that was set. Pompeius needed someone, who would challenge him in the positive way. Maximus was a good teacher. He was patient, demanding, but full of understanding. His calmness forced to act calmer as well. Even if Maximus was busy with others, Pompeius had the impression that Maximus was able to keep complete overview. As Maximus decided to go to Britannia, nobody doubted or asked anything about it. Everyone accepted it. He listened to advices of his surrounding, he thanked for the worries and counsels, but his decisions were made only by him. He ignored everyone politely in the way that nobody felt offended. As he talked with Appius, who was chosen to go to Dacia and support there soldiers protecting the empire, Maximus noticed how uncomfortable Appius felt with the resettlement. Pompeius wasn't there, but he heard enough bad opinions about Appius looking any substitute for his mission. Marcus Lucius suggested to take it over. In the common, echoic memory of Roman dishers, Maximus took over the task and proved his strength once again. Appius was just on the way to form and prove his fame of a very good, skilled trainer. This one and only drawback was the unique emergency rule in the life career of Appius. Pompeius couldn't understand how Appius was able to let Maximus to go to Dacia. There was no visible reason for changing the positions.

  As Maximus fell down in the Battle of Sarmisegetuza, Pompeius thought that the entire world would fall apart in a moment. However, the world kept living the ordinary way. It was elusive. Losing such a great man should make the entire surrounding freezing at least for weeks, years, ages, but a day started with a sunrise and the night started with a sunset. What has changed, was the life of Pompeius. There was no protection, there was no support to calm down, there was nobody, who could give him a sign to shut up. He had a big, uncontrolled mouth and he was punished from all sides. Pompeius felt he was drowning and his enemies from the higher ranks kept putting his head under the water surface with the same power as the enemies from the lower ranks kept pulling him to the bottom. Some scars and uncountable days spent under supervision of medicos later, Pompeius decided to change his strategy. He didn't comment anything, he followed the orders and it seemed that he was on the way to get broken. Even, if it didn't happen, the rage and disappointment towards previous allies, who failed as allies completely, were growing up in Pompeius's mind and limited him in the human interactions. He didn't trust anyone else.

  Pompeius reminded how a coincidence changed his life again. The emperor visited the camp, where Pompeius was fulfilling his duty with no special involvement, and as the question was put into the big round, Pompeius was the only one, who stepped out insecure. Trajan needed such warriors as Maximus to reach the greatest territorial extent through his conquests in the east. As Trajan told a story about one of the unforgettable soldiers in the history, Pompeius was confused. If he wouldn't be a man, he would cry like a baby. It was the moment, when he felt left alone so much that he came forward and announced:

  -Maximus was my teacher. It would be an honour for me to prove what he have taught me.

  -The empire needs such a contribution. - Trajan sounded noble and satisfied.

  Nobody expected what happened then. Pompeius got an own team of soldiers and was sent to the province of Arabia Petraea. Pompeius contributed actively to gain for the empire a new province. He concentrated all his fury, disappointment and bad thoughts in the battles. He was like a wild, unpredictable warrior and he intimidated not only the enemy, but also his own soldiers. He didn't talk. He led ascetic live and opened himself to the world in the fights. He ignored the injuries he started to collecting proudly and he was able to remind himself what he was just thinking as he got wounded every single time. He had nothing to lose and nothing could cramp him. For his contribution, he has got promoted and finally, he became the governor of Moesia Inferior between 116 and 117. In the meanwhile, he got to know Hadrian and as the empire got the new emperor, Pompeius felt the backup from the most powerful commander in the world. However, the enemies weren't excepted, but only muted within their strokes and affairs they initiated whenever a good chance appeared.

  He wasn't banished to go to Britannia, even if it was a common rumour that he heard a lot of times. He didn't fight with it, because the amount of fighting against it was more exhausting than tolerating it. He wanted to get a new challenge and new area, where he could breathe freely. Britannia was connected with shadows of the past, but not so strongly as the other parts of the empire, where the living rowdies with politically correct expression of masks put on their faces. It was demanding to stay calm and visibly friendly to adventurers who forged plans to get more influential behind the other's backs. He didn't like playing the complicated, confusing games. He wished a kind of simplicity.

  He didn't feel totally comfortable with staying in Moesia Inferior as he was asked at first. Due to the good relat
ionship with Hadrian, Pompeius has made his decision and it was approved. He liked it here, even if the weather was much worse and more wet than somewhere else. The inhabitants were easy to estimate. Their support for the Romans was limited to their own advantages. They were free for years and tolerated the Roman supervision just as far as it was convenient for them. It was it was foreseeable what problems they had and when they felt in danger. The principle about the enemies of your enemies are my friends was very useful.

  Looking at Marcus Lucius talking with Nerva reminded Pompeius about famous talks between Maximus and Appius. He hadn't many occasions to meet Appius personally. Pompeius didn't look for such possibilities anyway. He despised the man, who betrayed own friend, who let the real friend taking over a task that wasn't defined for that purpose. Even listening about Appius's soldiers as a branded pact of reliable, skilled soldiers echoed in Pompeius's head as a direct slap. A betrayer shouldn't be able to form a group of honourable members. It was not a joke, a sarcastic remark. It was abusing and ridiculous.

  However, looking at Nerva directly every time Pompeius met him, confirmed that Nerva possessed the strength and honour that any soldier should cultivate in own's being. How much it was influenced by Marcus Lucius or Appius or whether it was just the type of person that Nerva was, Pompeius wasn't able to estimate. Nerva seemed to be a kind of a man you wanted to have around independently from the situation. Nerva wouldn't leave you alone, he would fight for you,even if it would mean his own end. It was fascinating, because it reminded Pompeius how he would decide, if he would have been able to accompany Maximus to Britannia and to Dacia years ago. Pompeius wasn't allowed to follow his master and he regretted it every day. Looking at Nerva caused that Pompeius felt good somewhat that such people were still existing in the world that Pompeius didn't like and even despised. If Marcus Lucius trusted that Nerva could protect Julia the best way for a moment, then it meant that not only Pompeius has noticed the potential of Nerva. It felt good to know that Marcus Lucius was able to recognize a diamond between fake jewels. In a world that could disappoint you within a blink of an eye so much that you could have lost your entire, sufferable life, there had to be an anchor that could signal you that it's still the reality you're living, that you're not dead yet. In the world where friendship and love could be replaced quicker than you could catch a moment, there had to be an emotion that could last longer than the time you felt badly. Pompeius used to analyse why the negative issues could motivate him more than the good things. It was easier for him to be angry and disappointed than to convey or evaluate any positive matter in the crucial moment. Maybe it was caused by the extraordinary, smashing number of bad experiences that Pompeius collected on the way. Pompeius has been developing a kind of an imaginary shell that cumulated the energy of all beats he got and allowed him to bat them against the offenders. His defence mechanism worked well and proved its capable of taking and giving what was needed. He wasn't familiar with good emotions. He didn't trust anyone. He didn't rely on anyone. He accepted the soldiers around him, but there were no bounds between him and his guards as the bound between Nerva and Marcus Lucius or even Nerva and Julia, not mentioning the relation perceptible between Marcus Lucius and Julia. Pompeius couldn't understand it, but he respected it. He wasn't able to rely on anyone, anymore. He wanted to be able, but he was blocked irreversibly. He envied them for being able to fall down in any relationship without resistance, without over-thinking, without the fear.

  -Life can shock you immensely. - Pompeius whispered somewhat sadly while he looked at the both soldiers that stopped talking and waited for his next move.

  What fascinated Pompeius additionally was how much the energy and nature of Maximus was existing in Marcus Lucius. The form of his eyes and face bones, the gestures, even the sound of his voice reminded Pompeius about the man he admired and respected endlessly. However, Marcus Lucius was maybe taller and less compact than his father, but it brought him more speed and flexibility.

  Pompeius already saw Marcus Lucius's mother and he wasn't able to say what Marcus Lucius had from her except the dimples and the polite smile. Marcus Lucius's mother was a beautiful woman with predacious sparkles in her big eyes bound in black, long lashes. Her moves were fluent and her presence was spectacular, even a bit intimidating. She was a strong woman and you knew to keep the proper distance from her. She didn't lead any chit-chat. Her questions were limited to the words that were needed to use. She didn't speak aloud, but she wasn't whispering. She wanted to know when she could see her son and who else was in Eboracum. Pompeius didn't answer it. He smiled politely and it made her angry.

  -We need to talk about your contributions for empire. - Pompeius smiled the crooked way he used to smile.

  Marcus Lucius knew that it wasn't conditionally a bad sign. He showed Nerva to follow. Pompeius brought them to the camp. They didn't expect it. The emperor didn't spend the night in the cosy bed in Maxentius's villa, but with his soldiers in the camp. As they came into the camp on their own horses, the soldiers stopped their trainings and looked to Marcus Lucius with a relief. Even if there were thousands of open questions in the air, there was also a confirmation of a kind of peace and satisfaction. The soldiers greeted their commander with a short, friendly nod. They didn't dare to salute properly, because it didn't seem to be appropriate. However, they showed their respect and their loyalty visibly enough. It calmed Marcus Lucius additionally. Nerva observed what Marcus Lucius was doing and followed without a shadow of a doubt.

  In the commander's camp, Hadrian stood already and was bowed over a map of the empire. He talked with his advisors, six armoured and older men, and seemed to be occupied with the plans they've made. Cornelius was there, too. He stood intimidated in a corner like a student who didn't make his homework. He didn't greet anyone and tried not to attract attention on his tensed being.

  Marcus Lucius and Nerva waited on distance while Pompeius stepped forward and greeted the emperor. Hadrian smiled friendly and was visibly good while seeing Marcus Lucius not so extremely tensed like the times before. A kind of relief was perceptible in the air. Nerva's attitude was positively influenced by a bit relaxed pose of Marcus Lucius. A proper salutation followed. Marcus Lucius and Nerva stayed where they were.

  -I am the emperor, but I wasn't ever welcomed the way you were welcomed today. - Hadrian noticed fatherly and respectfully. - How can I abandon such a man?

  -But he pretended to be the commander! He pretended to be Maxentius! He lived the life it wasn't his! - Cornelius stepped forward with angry, challenging gesticulation. He stayed calm, even if shaky all the time, but the last sentence of Hadrian brought him out of the way.

  The emperor smiled politely and turned slowly to Cornelius. He smiled politely, even if he wasn't forced to be nice. His cheek shivered slowly and it was the only sign of rising angriness. His eyes kept the good vibrations. His voice was determined, but not emotional:

  -Pompeius, would you be so kind...

  Pompeius stepped forward and his crooked smile fooled Cornelius.

  -As far as I was informed, he never took the official command over the camp. As far as I know, he never introduced himself as Maxentius. As far as I know, he just filled the gap that had to be filled to keep the order here. If he wouldn't be here, you would have lost the camp. If a commander in chief has no quality of decision or if he is not of much use to his subordinates, then he is no good commander.

  With every further word of Pompeius, Cornelius seemed to get smaller and more insecure. His angriness disappeared immediately. Marcus Lucius observed Hadrian, who didn't say a word. He didn't look angry or satisfied at all. Hadrian followed Pompeius cautiously and it was fascinating how the emperor could stay aside and still rule over the room.

  -Go out and show us that you're the commander and will see who will follow you. - Pompeius added. His teeth showed up in the crooked smile, and Cornelius felt intimidated. The fear increased immediately, when Pompeius's hand landed on his sword. Cornelius's ey
es moved dynamically in all directions as if he was looking for any escape possibility. The more Cornelius stepped back, the closer Pompeius was to him. You could really feel the frightened soul of Cornelius. Some of Hadrian's advisers smiled meaningfully. From their faces, Marcus Lucius was able to read that they didn't intend to interact in the constellation. The acceptance of the criticism was visible. Marcus Lucius didn't show any approval for it. He wasn't upset either. Nerva smiled minimally. He wanted to keep the secret, but his face muscles betrayed him. Hadrian smiled after getting a short look at Nerva. Then, he smiled internally after a brief gaze at Marcus Lucius. The amount of self-control in Marcus Lucius's pose was incredible.

  Hadrian made a small step forwards and Pompeius stopped his speech. Pompeius went away from Cornelius and took the position as before.

  -You know how these young puppies are... - Hadrian said slowly, respectfully, and Cornelius smiled crooked, because he wasn't sure about what would happen next. Apparently, he expected the worst scenario including an execution. He trembled and couldn't breathe properly. He wasn't able to pull himself together anymore.

  Hadrian was disappointed, even if it wasn't clearly visible. The friendly sparkles in his eyes were dashed. He remembered how he talked one to one with Marcus Lucius and how Marcus Lucius stayed controlled, proud and attentive in the moment. Hadrian felt good having such people around him. The empire wasn't lost as long as there were still such soldiers.

  -However, you should go to Maxentius's villa and accompany your brother, Julius Fabius. Since we are all here, and since there is nobody to say a welcoming word, it would be polite to send you to fulfil this important and manageable task.

  The Emperor smiled even brighter, but it didn't look friendly anymore. Cornelius realized that in the moment he left the camp, he wouldn't have any reason to return here. A camp needed a commander and didn't tolerate any vacancy. As Cornelius left the tent, all chaos and shivering vanished. However, the tension in the camp increased. It was time to do something or dye. Pompeius shivered uncomfortable. He didn't like the idea of Marcus Lucius getting rewarded by making himself a direct opponent to governor of the province. Competing with Marcus Lucius could be very risky. Pompeius didn't want it, because he was afraid to lose the direct duel.

  -How can I abandon such a man? - Hadrian repeated his question in the same friendly, open way as before, as if nothing would have happened in the meantime. He was hugely disappointed about Cornelius leaving without even trying to ask what would happen to his camp. It was bitter to see how fast and decisively the commander quit his job to save his life. Hadrian was furious and shaken internally. Although only the shadows of his emotions appeared in his eyes, it was enough to make Pompeius worry about what the next steps could be. It would be a hard decision to support an execution of Marcus Lucius. It would be disappointing to lose a good, reliable soldier, who was just a puzzle piece on a huge, complex board of plots. Rome couldn't afford to lose a skilled, trustful man.

  The emperor gazed at Marcus Lucius challenging. He needed to see the spirit of the fight. He wanted to see a reaction, but he knew that it wouldn't happen. As long as it wasn't about the life of the woman that he loved, Marcus Lucius wasn't extremely tense. He even seemed to be relaxed in a very attentive, not disregardful way. It could be just an impression or an illusion, because Marcus Lucius could react very quickly and precisely. It was like looking at a wild, strong lion that was just laying calmly in the savannah but could attack any moment.

  -As you said, you're the emperor. It's your decision. - Marcus Lucius answered straight.

  -What do you suggest, then, as a soldier to a soldier. What should I do with you as a human being? And as a soldier? What should I do for the empire? - Hadrian sounded serious. As Marcus Lucius didn't answer straight away, Hadrian added after a couple of minutes. - Please, be honest with me. It's about your future. It's about The Senate and the People of Rome, Senātus Populusque Rōmānus.

  Hadrian knew that the idea of the great empire, of the great homeland and its rules was very important to Marcus Lucius. If it wasn’t, Marcus Lucius would have behaved differently. He wouldn't have come back. He wouldn't have respected the soldiers. He wouldn't have taken over the real command of the camp and he wouldn't have participated in the battle. Marcus Lucius was definitely an honourable man. Hadrian wasn't disappointed by his reaction.

  -being the emperor, your intention is to strengthen the Empire, improving infrastructure, commissioning new structures and settlements. - Marcus Lucius started slowly, but confident. - Therefore, the empire needs to rest. We don’t need to conquer or annex any further land. We have to rest and confirm our strength. I am no planner or strategist with an overview over the whole empire. - Marcus Lucius stepped forward and came to the table where the large map was laying. While showing Britannia and its parts with his fingers, he explained his statement. - What I've learned about the region here, we have good relationships here, as well as here, and here. The problem is here and here.

  Hadrian stepped closer to him and nodded silently. Pompeius looked at the map and confirmed what Marcus Lucius said by nodding. As a good governor, Pompeius knew where the weak and the strong sides of his provinces were. He had his sources of information and he already shared it with the emperor.

  -What do you suggest, then? - The emperor asked calmly.

  -You have three options in my humble opinion. The first one is that you increase the amount of soldiers on the borders here and here, like more patrolling and a control system to detect offenders. Marcus Lucius's fingers showed the line between Eboracum and the territories that used to be attacked by the men from the North. Marcus Lucius remembered the talks with the local elders.

  -The second option is to build sentinels along this line. It would allow you to control the borders more efficiently without having to build big camps and shift a lot of soldiers there.

  -And the third one? - Pompeius asked, while Marcus Lucius took a brief break to breathe and to analyse whether he wanted to add anything else.

  -Oh, the third one is to combine the first two with each other. It would increase the chances for success. - Marcus Lucius added quickly.

  Everybody nodded with understanding. Marcus Lucius's short speech was limited to concrete suggestions and didn’t have any personal advantages for him.

  -What's in there for you? - One of the emperor's advisors asked and broke the silence in the room.

  Marcus Lucius smiled politely. It was a minimal smile, just puling the right corner of his mouth a few millimetres higher than a moment before. It looked self-assertive, but not challenging. He remembered his talk with the local elders and how similar both sides were behaving during such councils. Even the face expressions of the emperor's advisers looked similar to the stunned, insecure, wise faces of the local regents. Marcus Lucius remembered how he promised to fight for the regional inhabitants and not only for the Roman Empire. Having it all in mind, he had to smile. It was stronger than the reserve. Marcus Lucius looked directly to Hadrian. For a moment, there was a hesitation, but then, Marcus Lucius answered:

  -I am not here to list any wish. I'm here at your command.

  Hadrian smiled. Marcus Lucius's answer wasn't factitious. It was his straight, simple way. Apparently, he was happy with the current state. He was able to obey and not jump out of the ranks uncontrollably. Marcus Lucius was reliable. He wasn't putting the principles that the empire dictated into question. He wasn't a crazy man, who would leave the camp any minute, because of an impulse. He knew into which scheme he belonged and he was ready to step lower in the hierarchy by showing his subordination. It was a sign of Marcus Lucius going to his knees and waiting patiently for a decision. It was the answer to a question that Hadrian had asked once. Marcus Lucius's answer was clear, even though the others didn't understand completely. Therefore, Marcus Lucius added:

  -I don't wish much for me. I am a soldier. I'm not up for promotion. I wish to serve the empire any way you wish me to.


  Pompeius was relieved. He felt a bit intimidated by Marcus Lucius’s power. It was about the camp calming down just when seeing its leader, who didn’t even self-proclaimed himself. The masses behind Marcus Lucius weren't easy to ignore. However, Marcus Lucius wasn't up to run for any position and he showed openness to obey. It was a good tactic. Of course, the emperor could promote him, but it wouldn't be Marcus Lucius's decision. Everybody nodded as a sign of mutual respect and understanding.

  -Good, good. - Hadrian said and turned to his advisors, who built a circle around him. The men looked the same. They were a bit older than the emperor himself, their faces were covered by helmets and their bodies were packed into armours with individual patterns that showed horses, trees, or thunders. Their back-sides were covered by long, red capes that rustled, when they moved.

  Marcus Lucius stepped back and came closer to Nerva. Pompeius observed the advisors and didn't participate in their conversation. They all stood calmly and patiently. It was hard to listen to what the emperor's advisors were saying. It was impossible to observe their face expressions, because they were bowed hiding their faces from the outsiders. They were so quiet that you could almost think they didn't say a word. They moved minimally. Marcus Lucius closed his eyes and tried to perceive the surrounding with other senses. He was tired of pretending anything, so the last hours were a welcome change. Even if he wasn't completely sure what decision would be made, he knew that a wedding was planned. It was possible that he would be resettled to Dacia or any other region as punishment for the game he played. Living his own life again meant that a huge load fell off his shoulders. He had to consider the consequences, but he was ready as long as he was sure that his friends weren't penalised.

  Nerva stood calmly and waited like a well trained dog. He was relieved to see that Marcus Lucius and Julia were feeling well. He didn't care how about the next day. It couldn't be bad, because Marcus Lucius made an independent impression. He talked shortly, directly, almost relaxed. This feeling of being comfortable was catching and brought the perspective of freedom.

  Pompeius stood alone and contemplated. He appreciated Hadrian’s wisdom. Letting Marcus Lucius getting married with Julia brought something good into sight. It made the pressure put on everyone involved decrease visibly. He appreciated Marcus Lucius’s wisdom, who used the moment to present his suggestions in the right way, without grasping for any advantage. Marcus Lucius was honest and humble. It was a good, clever strategy.

  It took a while until the emperor turned around and announced at least the decisions that could be agreed upon for that moment:

  -Marcus Lucius, you'll go and welcome your soldiers. It was punishment enough for them not being able to celebrate the victory with their commander. They won't believe anyone saying that you're alive, if they won't get to touch you directly. Go, train them and come back to the villa in the evening. Nerva will prepare the celebrations. We need more time to decide what to do here. We're leaving at the crack of dawn.

  Marcus Lucius nodded and left the camp. The soldiers, who were already waiting impatiently outside the camp pretending to be busy with their ordinary tasks, gathered within a moment around him. The joy in their eyes was so huge that Marcus Lucius could almost get blinded by it. It felt good to see how they missed him and how they backed him up.

  Pompeius noticed it. Hadrian noticed it. Hadrian's advisors noticed it. It was a breaking moment. Marcus Lucius, Nerva and Pompeius felt that it was the emperor’s intend to show the indisputable support for Marcus Lucius. He was taken by the mass and he got friendly slaps on his shoulders from every direction he turned to. It was an extraordinary experience and it felt like flowing with the river and not against it. It felt simply right.

  Even with the huge support from his soldiers, Marcus Lucius stayed a bit tense. He turned his head back to Nerva and followed his friend's body language. Nerva understood the source of sorrows. He took his mere and stepped forward to Marcus Lucius. He hugged him quickly and whispered even faster:

  -You were down, but not knocked out. Not only the emperor is watching you. - Nerva whispered to his friend before he mounted his horse and went back to the villa. Nerva knew that someone had to keep an eye on Julia, because she was all alone. Turning his horse, he added louder: - Come back home on time.

  Marcus Lucius nodded once, dynamically. From that moment on, he was able to savour the moment in a relaxed way. He knew that he wouldn't get killed. If Hadrian planned to terminate Marcus Lucius's, it wouldn't be clever to give him the opportunity to solemnise the victory so long after the battle. Marcus Lucius assumed that Hadrian was going to use the fame of Maximus and put it together with Marcus Lucius's victory in Britannia. He thought it was highly probable that he would be send to the place, where his father fell. Marcus Lucius could prove that it wasn't Maximus’s curse, if he survived it or he proved that there was a serious problem with Dacia, if he failed.

  It was impossible to keep the news in the camp. The same way the information that it wasn't Maxentius, who let the soldiers to the fight, spread, even before the battle started, the same the rumour that Marcus Lucius was back in the camp spread. It was impossible to bring order into the enthusiastic group of men. Everyone gathered around him and tried to see with own eyes whether the rumour was true. It was, indeed. He smiled, because he was overwhelmed by the soldierly brotherhood.

  Marcus Lucius didn't forget to visit the wounded soldiers in the medical tents. They were happy about him stepping by and talking to them shortly. His presence increased the good mood in the rooms. Strangely enough that the scent of medicine seemed to be nice for his nose. It reminded him about Julia taking care about him in the hard times. Being allowed to have her as his wife was an honour. He didn't dare to think about asking the emperor for such a favour.

  In the meanwhile, Nerva returned to the villa and searched for Julia. He didn't care about anybody else he met. He knew that the emperor and his advisors were still occupied with forging plans and setting a strategy. Pompeius stayed in the camp, too, so there was no reason to be tense in Maxentius's villa. As Nerva came to the stable, a lot of box stalls were already filled with horses. He was wondering where to put his mere as a young, thin stable boy ran to him and stopped immediately in front of him. The boy smiled cheeky, because he recognised Nerva. The boy knew that the soldier wouldn't harm him.

  -What's there? - Nerva noticed the excitation of the boy with widely open, feverish eyes and his shy smile, so Nerva asked about the general mood around.

  The boy reported chaotically about the masses of Romans that were visiting the villa. Nerva slapped him gently on the shoulder and mumbled rather to himself “Fair enough”. He went to the rooms used mostly by Julia, but she wasn't there. Instead, there were ten slaves of Marcus Lucius's mother. They observed how Nerva tried to check out the current visitor in Julia's chamber.

  Behind a curtain made out of fragile, dainty material, a woman stood. It wasn't Julia. Nerva gazed shortly at the person with seducing grace captured in a body that could raise the envy of any other woman in the world. Her cat-like moves and predacious eye expressions were more fascinating than intimidating, but Nerva understood right from the beginning that the woman was uniquely dangerous. She was like a golden poison frog that is often considered innocent and beautiful due to its small size and bright colours; but it was the most poisonous of all living creatures. Opposite to the toxic influence of a golden frog, which prevents nerves from transmitting impulses, leaving the muscles in an inactive state of contraction, Nerva didn't feel poisoned from this very first contact. Marcus Lucius's mother was apparently interested who the man was, having the gall to step by with dynamic, sure steps that betrayed his knowledge about the villa. She couldn't place Nerva anywhere. She wasn't sure what he intended and from which influential group he was. She was surprised to get the polite invitation from the emperor to come to Britannia. She wasn't amused, but she had to follow the kind words promising a nice surprise. She couldn't understand what reaso
ns the young emperor had and what she was should expect in the land of wet air and cold temperatures.

  Nerva stepped back, because he wanted to show his respect and confirm he had no bad intentions. The black-haired woman with vivid, intelligent eyes followed his move and nodded minimally. It reminded Nerva of Marcus Lucius's way of moving. They were similar, fast, dynamic and predacious.

  -Who are you? - The woman asked, but Nerva shook his head with refusal.

  -It's not my task to accompany you, lady. - He said and left the surprised woman alone. While walking further through the corridors of the villa, he thought that there weren't much traces of life here. The house seemed to be empty, what was impossible, if so many horses were kept in the stables. There were no soldiers in the yard. There were no people in the hallways. Even slaves didn't cross Nerva's way. He went to the chamber, where he had spent a night on a pallet next to Julia's provisional bed. She wasn't there. But she had to be somewhere. Her dresses were laid on a chair brought by someone. Nerva stepped into the room and looked around. As he didn't see any trace of Julia, he screamed her name. He waited a moment and heard a noise from above. He looked to the ceiling, but there was nothing. However, he got the impression that someone was on the roof. He went to the window and smiled as he felt the warm, spring-announcing wind on his face.

  Julia was sitting on the edge of the roof with her back to the wall and her legs put up to her chin. She looked at the trees in front of her and when she noticed Nerva's presence, she smiled shyly. Nerva wasn't familiar with this kind of smiles on her face. He wasn't sure what had happened, because she didn't look happy. He moved forwards to her and sat down next to her. The building here wasn't very high, but it was dangerous enough to fall down and break a lot of bones.

  -What are you doing here?! - He almost screamed with lack of satisfaction or approval. She wore a warm dress, but looking at her in such a strange place made him feel uncomfortable. If it was possible, he would pull her back into the room again. She didn't like to follow even a polite request to retreat into the building.

  -Shhh... I'm hiding. - Julia answered and the tone confirmed the impression that she would sit there for ages.

  -Why? - Nerva wondered. - Who are you scared of? Everyone's in the camp. We're here alone, except Marcus Lucius's mother.

  -My father has arrived already. I saw him from here. He didn't look satisfied. - She whispered. - I'm scared.

  Nerva kept silent. If she wanted to talk, she would do it without any pushy question. He waited. She didn't lean on his shoulder as she used to in moments of insecurity. She kept her distance.

  -Marcus Lucius is the new camp commander. He was allowed to welcome his soldiers. - Nerva said after a couple moments passed by and Julia was still sitting with a muffled breath keeping her distance. She reminded him of a torch that was almost dashed off. She smiled shortly after she heard Marcus Lucius's name, but there was no further reaction to Nerva's statement. - Cornelius was sent away definitely.

  -I know, I saw him talking with my father. They stood in the yard. They didn't see me, because I was over there. – Julia reported quietly and pointed to another corner of the building. From there, she was able to see anyone who appeared in the yard or who came to the villa. - They gesticulated a lot and my father was really angry.

  She kept silent for another moment and then, she added insecurely, but not maximally concerned:

  -Do you think they were talking about me?

  It was like expecting something bad, but still knowing you were safe. Apparently, she considered that her father wouldn't be very supportive in these days, but stay supportive in general, because she was his daughter, so he was supposed to protect her, take care of her. They were family, so they were used to stick together. Nerva remembered his family and his father’s awful, scary wife. From the moment, he left his father’s house, he didn't look back. He knew that he wouldn't get any support from his family. Nerva was completely on his own and therefore, he relied on the army. He was satisfied that he could serve the empire, because it made his life worth living. He had a goal and it was a simple strategy: follow the orders of your commander. He never regretted that he joined the group of Appius. He was proud of it. If he was supposed to be punished by the emperor for following Appius's hints, Nerva was ready to take it like a man. He respected the emperor, but Appius was closer and more valuable to him than Hadrian. In such a constellation, Nerva would rather rely on Appius than the will of the emperor. However, he started considering whether he would follow rather Marcus Lucius now than anyone else. Maybe he felt even more like Marcus Lucius's man than Hadrian's servant or Appius's soldier.

  Nerva negated quickly, because he was already too distracted by his own thoughts and needed to go back to the conversation with Julia. With implicit joy, he told:

  -It was rather about the lost issues in the camp. If you would have seen Pompeius with his snaky, cold attack on Cornelius... - Nerva smiled, because it had been a specific pleasure to see how Cornelius was minimized in his nature. Watching the scene in the tent was like observing a snake swallowing a mouse. It was funny, even though there was a certain danger that could have embraced Marcus Lucius or Nerva, too. In that moment, every action no matter of whom could have been used against Marcus Lucius and his supporters. The emperor’s people hadn’t presented a fix plan for the long-term perspective and the fate of Marcus Lucius and his companions yet.

  Julia got distracted from her previous thoughts and was already analysing the same matter. Her head fell even lower onto her knees and her lips were pressed together in a very funny way.

  -Actually, we should get punished. Instead, we're going to be rewarded. I don't get it. - She whispered sadly.

  -We're not rewarded yet. - Nerva said quickly.

  -We're still alive.

  -Death penalty is not the scariest punishment. - Nerva added. - Unmistakeable, the worst punishment is to make someone live in the way the person hates and can't change. Making you wishing the death to come and not being able to get an absolution... That's the cruellest punishment.

  Julia looked at Nerva with surprised, incredibly sad eyes. She nodded while mumbling something. Nerva tried to understand what she wanted to say. She remembered the time after she got married for the first time. She had felt just the way Nerva just described. She wanted to die and she couldn't kill herself due to the inherent, silly honour of her soul. Unmistakeably, Nerva was right.

  -Probably you're right. Maybe it's just increasing the suffering through giving a positive, peak point and then, letting someone completely down the hole.

  She memorized her excitement and joy connected with the first marriage. Her father had promised her that everything would be all right. Her father had assured her that Maxentius was an honourable man, even though he was older and wrinkled. On the very first look, the future seemed to be bright and welcoming. The hope she got was lost quickly just a few moments after she was left alone with her husband. This hope she had and the destroyed dreams and visions reminded her about the innocent, fabulous life she thought she was stepping in during the wedding ceremony. It wasn't a fairyland, but a land of nightmares. The contrast between her vision and reality was unbearable. She didn't feel only disappointed, humiliated, but also betrayed and lost.

  She got angry while memorizing the moments of the past. Maxentius was already dead, so the score was settled. However, her father was still alive and she wished to ask him whether he really had no clue to whom he had given her.

  -Hey, smile. You look much prettier when you smile. - Nerva said, because he noticed her mood changed. She shouldn't get scared by the vision of the future. - What goes around comes around.

  She smiled sadder but wiser. Her miserable look didn't change a lot, but a spark of hope appeared in her trembling voice:

  -What will happen today? What follows tonight? What's planned for tomorrow?

  -I don't know. - Nerva said heavily. He wasn't able to give a better answer.

  -The empe
ror is going to leave at dawn.

  -With or without Marcus Lucius? - She whispered and didn't wait for any answer.

  -I don't know. - Nerva said and sighed. - What I know is that this is not a proper place for you. You should go back to the chamber.

  -No, not yet. I can't sit calmly trapped in these rooms, between walls... Let me sit here to gather enough fresh air in the lungs and enough green spots for my memories.

  Nerva nodded with understanding. He moved closer to her and gave her a look that almost ordered her to lean her trembling body on his. They sat silently and didn’t move. The wind played with Julia's flicks of hair and the lacy parts of her dress. The sun stepped out from the line of clouds and warmed the cheeks and hands of people. The trees swung fluently, pendulum-like, slowly on the horizon as if they were dancing exclusively in the closed position, and you could almost hear their whispering counting: "1 - 2 – 3".

  The late afternoon passed by and the wind got colder. The sun went irreversibly to the ground and Nerva pocked Julia to give her a sign to stand up. She moved and indicated with her head to look to the direction of the camp. Nerva didn't have to turn his head to the right, where the camp was some miles away from the villa. Behind the houses of the small city next to the camp, the towers of the camp stood proudly. Through a free line between the trees, a larger group of soldiers rid. The thud echoed at first quietly, then even louder and louder. Nerva had already noticed the troop approaching from the camp and had poked Julia therefore. It was the time to leave the roof.

  Julia didn't want to change her dress, as she thought it didn’t matter how you look like in insecure times. Nerva shrugged his shoulders, because it wasn't crucial to change. She could wear whatever she wanted and he would look after her with the same care. The actual dress covered her scars perfectly under the long sleeves and its’ length in general. It was warm and therefore, she didn't need to hide under a blanket. Nerva smiled memorizing how Julia had covered herself with the red material.

  A slave stepped in insecurely and announced that the supper was going to be served. As Julia was ready to go, the emperor, who wore the armour usual, appeared in the chamber. Julia trembled more due to his sudden appearance, than for who he was. Hadrian showed Nerva without words to leave the room. Nerva doubted for a moment, but Julia smiled politely and showed him that she felt comfortable enough to be left alone. When Nerva was gone, Hadrian smiled friendly:

  -And I thought they already trust me... - He laughed shortly cordially and when Julia wanted to add something, he shook his head. - It's good the way they behave, it is indeed good, because it shows what kind of people they are.

  Julia nodded and wasn't sure whether it was supposed to be a conversation or just strict listening to the final judgement.

  -If you want people to trust you, you shouldn't play with them as if they were things. - She spoke quickly.

  He smiled.

  -Fair enough. Be honest with me and I will be honest with you. - The emperor suggested. - As I've heard you haven’t talked with your father yet. - He added after a moment and his voice got a sharp, unpleasant tone.

  Julia trembled as if she would get a punch. Hadrian wasn't sure whether it was a reaction to his words or to the mentioning of her father. He wished it was due to the second alternative.

  -I didn't. - She answered and left out the fact that she had seen him from the roof.

  -However, you saw him. - Hadrian rumbled on with a visible purpose to lead the talk into a specific direction.

  Julia was a bit insecure, but she confirmed it with a single nod. She decided to be honest.

  -I did. I saw how he talked with my uncle Cornelius. They weren't happy.

  She looked at Hadrian with a question mark in her eyes. She was burning to get to know why he knew that she had already seen her father. Hadrian didn't seem to be surprised by her confirmation.

  -We saw you on the roof. - Hadrian smiled freely as he answered the unspoken question. - Why didn't you talk with your father?

  -I don't know. - She really had no idea whether she was too angry, too disappointed or too upset. She wasn't sure if her father really played with her life and used her as a forfeit. The more she thought about it the more confused and furious she was. - I think I wasn't ready for it.

  -Will you be ready in a moment? - Hadrian didn't let go the matter that interested him strongly. He wanted to be able to judge Julia's relationship with her father in the right way, because it was crucial for his plan.

  -Do you know why he let you marry Maxentius?

  Julia sighed unpleasantly. Hadrian noticed that he hit the nail on the head. She stepped back and made small steps here and there, but in a range of two, three meters. She pressed her fingers together and her cheeks looked bony. Some nervous wrinkles appeared on her forehead and her scraggy hands moved chaotically. She puffed out and looked hectically to Hadrian. She was like an open book in that moment. She wasn't prepared for talking about her father and she couldn't hide her emotions. While she was married to Maxentius, she had pulled herself together and had clenched her teeth, she was able to smile politely and pretended anything that was necessary to keep the masquerade alive. She was able to do it, because she was prepared for it. She envied Marcus Lucius for his well-trained self-control that gave him his polite expression independent from the situation. In the company of Nerva or Marcus Lucius, her nervousness would be automatically calmed down for example by a friendly hug. She didn't expect Hadrian to calm her down and his majesty made her feel uncomfortable on another level. It simply increased her tension and insecurity. She trembled.

  -Why? Why... That's a good question. I would even ask him myself. I would... As I got married I didn't know what was going to happen to me. The marriage changed my life completely. Did he know what kind of person Maxentius was? Maybe. Did he use me as a draftsman in his game? Maybe. I believed that at least my father would make sure that I keep living the way everything was. Maybe I was wrong. Finally, he is a good politician, that's for sure. He used to be good father, I thought.

  She sounded confused. Hadrian wasn't sure how to deal with it. He couldn't tell her the details of his plan, because she had to react spontaneously.

  -Do you trust me? - He asked directly. There was a need in his voice.

  Julia stepped back even more. She trembled nervously. Her head was shaking and her lips couldn't form a clear answer. She gathered herself and stepped forwards.

  -How do you know whom to trust? - She asked challenging. Her eyes showed extreme willingness to fight, even if Hadrian wasn't sure what she wanted to fight against.

  She thought about Marcus Lucius and Nerva and even Octavian. She met them and she was strongly convinced that they wouldn't hurt her. Even though she didn't trust all of them from the very first moment, she was sure that she could put her life into their hands. Appius's word was enough for such security. She wondered why she trusted Appius, whom she had seen just a couple of times and with whom she didn’t have much in common. She remembered his empty eyes and the feeling she had while he was so strange and isolated by his own wish that she was extraordinary fascinated by him. She was convinced that Appius wouldn't hurt her the same way she thought it as she was a child. So, she extended the trust to Appius on his legionnaires. She wondered why she was able to trust some unknown people from the very first moment, and how she could doubt on her trust towards people, she knew her entire life.

  She remembered seeing Hadrian for the very first time and she wasn't completely sure what to expect from him. He was hard to judge. She still had the impression of being apart or in between day and night, when the borders of time are not specifically defined. It was not easy to trust him. He looked reliable. He radiated stability like a tower of strength. However, he had thoughts and plans he didn't reveal. He acted between the lines and expected full trust without any questions. Internally, she had her doubts.

  -You never know whom to trust. So, whether you trust someone or not. - Hadrian said after a momen
t he gathered his thoughts. He came closer to her and spoke pleasantly, dreamily. - Faith, trust, love, friendship... It's all about feeling, not thinking. You don't decide freely. Our souls decide without discussing it with our minds, ignoring the rational reasons, sources, warnings. It makes us move forward with faith and confidence into the future, even when we are afraid of what the future might bring. It isn't as bad as we sometimes think. It all works out. We have to go forward. We have to live.

  -And what happens, when we get hurt, when someone betrays you? You can't simply forget it and move on. - Julia wasn't satisfied enough with Hadrian's answer.

  The emperor smiled brightly, but sadly. He looked older than he was in that moment.

  -Obviously, you know the feeling when memories squeeze your heart and make you question everything you trusted. Remember, Julia, good and bad experience you collect are what made you the person you are now. What makes you the person you become tomorrow is the way you behave knowing all that and choosing the way you live further.

  Julia nodded, even though her mind didn't feel comfortable with the non-perceptible trust.

  -Do you question Marcus Lucius? - Hadrian asked for the very first time less confident than usual. - Was my suggestion for the wedding wrong?

  Impulsively, Julia refused with her entire body. Her head shook dynamically and her lips said “No” before she was able to gather words. Hadrian smiled reassured. His first impression was clearly confirmed. From the very first moment he heard from Appius how Marcus Lucius appeared near Aquincum, and how he fought against the Barbarians, it was obvious for the emperor that he wasn't a deserter. He was rather a man in need, a betrayed man. As Appius confessed what order was given to Julia after Marcus Lucius lost his consciousness, Hadrian won complete confidence in Appius's decisions. Considering the fact that Appius was seeking to talk to Hadrian was a positive sign of collaboration. Seeing Marcus Lucius and Julia together suggested there was no other option than to give them the chance to make their relationship official. Hadrian did it in jest. Additionally, he could use the wedding to square old accounts and sort things out. It couldn't be better played than it was. He wanted to solve riddles that were occupying him for years, months, weeks, days... He kept to the beaten track and as he recognized the single threads, he followed them directly to the source. It was time to explain how Pandora's box was opened. Unspoken penalties were in the air.

  -I won't take it personally that you don't trust me. You have the right not to. - Hadrian said and indicated Julia to come closer to him. He wished to lead her into the dining room, where the main celebration was set. She stepped closer and went arm in arm with him. - I will take it personally, if you won't go with your heart.

  The air in the hallway was fresh, unpleasantly humid. The rain that hadn't come during the day came now and didn't let to dry out the plants. Julia wasn't sure what hint Hadrian tried to give her, but it was very strange. She didn't feel good with it. As they stepped into the spacey chamber, all eyes were concentrated on them. Her insecurity raised dramatically. She looked around and she got scared when she didn't see Marcus Lucius at any table.

  Usually, there were four long tables in the room and just a small part of one table was used. That evening, the room was full of humans, food and music. Julia couldn't breathe freely, because she felt negatively overwhelmed by the masses, the pairs of eyes watching her, fingers moving here and there. A lot of slaves were on call gathered around well-amused Romans sitting at the tables. Six scantily dressed, oiled slaves were dancing in the middle of the room to calm chants mixed with the sounds of straight trumpets, wooden flutes, cane reed instruments, skin drums and bagpipe-like instruments. Wealthy Romans didn’t dance themselves. They gazed at the bodies moving fluently with erotic and suggestive movements inviting everybody to have sexual thoughts and to play with the pictures in the brain.

  Some other slaves gently, almost invisibly moved the plates filled with snacks including egg dishes, small rolls sprinkled with poppy-seeds and honey, and hot sausages, lettuce and olives. Two more slaves brought in another large round tray with a pair of scales holding tarts and cheesecakes decorated in an artistic way. A hare with wings on another plate imitated Pegasus. Julia didn't pay further attention to the digestible things on the tables like shell-fish, thrushes, a fatted hen, goat and wild boar. She didn't focus on the expensive, shiny parts of table ware including gold plates with the signs of the zodiac figured all around it. Precious table knifes with artistic carving on the shafts with wild beasts, temples and signs of mystical religious cults from Egypt reflected the light of torches.

  Julia followed the lines of faces in the room and her insecurity exploded internally. There was a woman smiling in the same way as Marcus Lucius's and Julia assumed it was his mother. There was her father with his two advisors, both rather corpulent men with meaty fingers and snaky eyes. There were the not so young, but experienced, concentrated legionnaires of Hadrian's troop with sparkling eyes holding knifes in their hands. Julia couldn't count them all, but she estimated at least twenty four of them. Their faces looked the same, ravenous way as wolves that have selected a goat. Finally, Julia saw Hadrian's advisors. They gazed attentively at her and whispered with each other. Their quickly moving lips and yellow teeth didn't convey good emotions. Julia's mind panicked even more when she noticed that Pompeius was missing, too. She assumed that Pompeius could supervise Marcus Lucius. She felt that the ground under her feet changed from stones into water and she was sinking like a Roman galley during a battle.

  Hadrian slapped her hand twice in a friendly, encouraging way.

  -Are we friends? - He whispered quickly into her ear.

  -Of course. - Julia answered automatically and remembered a scene from the past.

  -Good. Don't betray me then, please. - The emperor smiled and as he moved his head in an apparently specific way, Nerva appeared from nowhere.

  Julia felt a bit of relief, even though she was still tense. As long as Marcus Lucius didn't show up, she couldn't relax completely. Nerva led her to a place between Marcus Lucius's mother and Hadrian's advisors. Julia took the place and noticed that her father was sitting next to Cornelius. They were facing her. Julius's face didn't officially betray that he was angry, but Julia knew that the corners of his mouth were drawn up artificially. She tried to smile politely and hoped that she was convincing enough. Nerva sat down next to her. There was no further free seat and Julia was scared that Marcus Lucius wouldn't appear at all.

  -In the honour of Vesta, goddess of the hearth, we celebrate today. - Hadrian spoke not extremely loud, but his words filled the room pleasantly. He smiled and greeted everyone with trained, short winks of his arm. His armour glanced in the light of torches and caught the golden shine of the table ware. His face showed friendliness and glory. He was the calmness himself.

  Julia didn't look at him for long, because she was still searching for the man who was obviously missing. Apparently, Marcus Lucius's mother tried to detect a trace of her son, too. She didn't do it obviously. Her moves were fluent and confident. She almost didn't eat, even if her fingers were touching the food. Julia gazed shortly at Nerva and tried to find an answer. Astonishingly, Nerva seemed to be really calm. He was drinking wine and smiling politely. As she wanted to ask him something, he shortly put a finger on his mouth in a very discrete way. Julia kept silent.

  She observed how her father gazed at her every now and then, and she knew that he wasn't simply angry. He was furious and his rage was targeted on Julia. She tried not to show how scared she was. He bit and swallowed his food quickly like a wolf. Julia felt intimidated by his strong, hostile gaze. Cornelius was more insecure than angry, but as he met Julia's eyes, his sneaky disappointment became visible for a moment. Julia looked at the legionnaires to her left and listened to them freely reporting stories already approved for common use. They spoke loudly and proudly about the fights won in the South of the empire. While they were talking freely, without interruptions, laughing a
nd proposing toasts, Nerva seemed to be evenly relaxed. Julia couldn't understand it until one of them mentioned Appius’s name. The way the name was pronounced suggested that Appius found favour and respect in the speaker's eyes. Julia wondered whether it was one of Appius's soldiers and the longer she thought about it the more she was convinced. There was a kind of dynamic or fluency in the moves of legionnaires to her left that she knew from Nerva or Octavian. She couldn't define it, but there was a special similarity. It would explain as well why Nerva didn't feel tense. He was amongst his companions. It didn't calm her down though.

  As Appius's name was put into the round, Julius twisted his mouth with despite. He didn't participate in the talks at the table and seemed to ignore the fine-tuned remarks of the soldiers at the opposite table. Marcus Lucius's mother kept silent, but you could notice that she waited for the perfect moment to ask her question. Her presence was clearly dispensable. She wanted to know for which reasons she was called to Britannia. As Julius asked the very first question, Marcus Lucius's mother listened carefully. She scented the opportunity to clear her own matters.

  Suddenly, Julius stood up and after a short, obviously artificial greeting for the emperor, he said like a skilled orator:

  -We appreciate you playing the host, but with all due respect, who is the camp commander at Eboracum now? I've heard that you picked a man, who deserted and betrayed the empire. The might and glory of Rome can't support lack of subordination.

  -I appreciate you bothering about the might and glory of Rome. - Hadrian smiled and drank wine as if the talk wouldn't be about matters of the highest priority. - Indeed, a man revived. Indeed, we have a traitor. Indeed, Rome can't support a lack of subordination.

  Julia trembled. If Hadrian was convinced that Marcus Lucius was a traitor, then she had to act to prove that something had gone very wrong. Her father smiled after getting a confirmation. He added louder:

  -I've heard that the revived man got help from a man, who used to be your friend and supporter, a man whose name already was called.

  The legionnaires that were looking like hungry wolves to Julia turned to Julius and their eyes concentrated on the speaker. The smiles on their faces didn't disappear, but the real joy was gone. Hadrian was still calm. Nerva's arm got tense shortly, but in general, he kept his relaxed attitude. Julia looked to Marcus Lucius's mother and noticed how the woman apparently ignored everything around her.. She seemed to be more interested in her golden plate than the talk. Julia's hand formed a fist, but she didn't react in any further way. She waited for Nerva to be tensed enough to support her. He simply shook his head minimally and communicated a strict “no, don't do it”.

  -I thought that Appius, if I correctly assume you meant Appius, used to be one of your friends. - The emperor spoke slowly, still polite. A meaningful shadow of a smile appeared on his lips.

  -He was a friend of mine as long as he supported Rome honourably. - Julius answered shortly with the same tone that he used in the senate. He even wore the same clothes he used to wear in the senate, probably to underline his position.

  -I understand and thank you for your hint. - Hadrian answered and nodded once. - If I may I would like to ask you then for your wise advice about a moot point.

  It sounded tempting, cooperative. Julius welcomed the gesture. Cornelius trembled insecurely. Julia kept silent and her fist relaxed a bit. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, but there was a specific tension in the room. Her father seemed to feel more important than he really was. He had this special look on his face, as if he already knew everything and gave orders. He seemed to be sure that everything went the way he wished or even planned. Even though was visibly older than the emperor, he shouldn't stand so proud and confident in front of the emperor. It showed a bad, oversized confidence that leads to a catastrophe. Hadrian wasn't a dictator, but even a senator had to respect the power of the charge. Julia wanted to warm her father, but he didn't look in her direction. He ignored her and his smile betrayed her that he was looking down on all participants of the supper. She leant on the chair and moved minimally backwards. Even her motion didn't force Julius to look at her. She was tense, but not hysterical. Somewhat a part of her soul advised her to stay away from the conflict. Her father could get a punch for his ignorance and it wouldn't do his ego well. He deserved to be reminded who he was and where his limits were.

  -I would be very honoured to give you any advice you enact usefully.

  It sounded false, even unctuously as a rebuke and Julia's face showed her concern. She was almost sure that her father didn't judge the situation well enough to step back and stay polite. However, he was a great, skilled politician, so maybe he was just taking a risk or pushing his skills up to maximum. During the trainings between legionnaires it was easier to observe which moves and intends the soldiers had. If they attacked, you could see it directly in the last moment, when the opponent got punched, crashed or sometimes even wounded. Here, a duel without swords, knifes and hands took place. A battle of words appeared like a storm and there had to be consequences for the involved players.

  Even though Hadrian was friendly, there was a specific smile on his face that boded ill. Julia looked around and noticed that nobody else was as worried as she was. She almost thought that she overreacted, but her stubborn mind kept believing that this was a very dangerous moment.

  --What do you suggest me to do? - The emperor didn't move. His calm, courteous attitude was still visible, even though Julia perceived that the polite mask had already been taken off.

  Nerva noticed her tension and grasped her hand under the table. He wanted to prevent her from standing up unexpectedly or from any other action. As she looked at him directly, he had meaningful sparkles in his eyes. They reminded her of how he looked like in the woods next to the cottage when they were waiting for Marcus Lucius to return from the battle. Although Nerva had said that it was better for Marcus Lucius not to come, he was sure that his friend would appear anyway. This excitement and waiting for good news were captured in Nerva's eyes. Julia wasn't sure what she should feel. It didn't feel right to let her father appear ridiculously in front of the emperor and his men.

  -Not yet. - Nerva added shortly, very quiet as he recognized her hesitation.

  She nodded without being really convinced. It simply didn't feel right.

  -I daresay that you should punish the traitors properly.

  -Well then, with all your wisdom and experience, please tell me which remedies would you chose?

  Julius looked around and noticed how calm and quiet the room was at once. The musician played their chants, but there was no singing. The dancers left the middle of the room without any order. The slaves, who brought food, disappeared suddenly. At the tables, people were still sitting, but they didn't play with the food anymore. They watched what would happen next. Their eyes went from the man standing to the man sitting in a chair and waiting for an answer. The air was suddenly filled with serious and sober molecules. Julius didn't show how the change influenced him. Hadrian smiled, but not so friendly anymore. He looked more stern than entertained. Julia trembled nervously. Marcus Lucius's mother didn't even blink.

  -I would arrange an official execution with a loud announcement of the judgement so that everyone would know why the man was punished and that nobody dares to follow the road of illegality and insubordination.

  -Good one. - Hadrian nodded once as if he would think about it. - However, there could be groups of Romans, who would try to rescue their master. - He added without showing any preference whether he liked the suggestion or not.

  Julius looked shortly to Cornelius, like dusting him down for not participating in the battle lately. It limited the range of alternatives for Julius, but he stood proudly furthermore. He was sure that his point was right.

  -Then, I would arrange the execution without setting the time and place in advance to prevent anyone preparing a rescuing action.

  Julia stopped breathing for a moment as the though that
Marcus Lucius could get executed crossed her mind. Her refuse and disapproval were visible in her face. Nerva pressed her left hand even stronger. He wasn't smiling. He wasn't afraid. He was serious. His pressure caused a wave of pain, but Julia ignored it. She was ready to stand up and fight even against her own father for such proposals. Her father didn't know what Marcus Lucius had done and why he did it. It wasn't fair to kill him just like that...

  -Not yet. - Nerva whispered through clenched teeth.

  All other Romans sat at the tables and waited impatiently for further statements. Up to now, Julius side seemed to be fixed. It was not predictable whether Hadrian would join or not. However, he shortly looked around tried to read the faces of the gathered Romans. As his eyes met Julia's, she noticed something she couldn’t define. It was a kind of compassion or sorrow, but no anger or fury. It all didn't make sense. The planned wedding wasn't on the agenda anymore. The feeling of being safe was gone. Marcus Lucius could have already been terminated by Pompeius. Julia was scared and unsettled.

  -If you don't execute such an obvious, powerful traitor, it will be a sign of your weakness. - Julius added hastily, seriously, proudly. He seemed to feel good about giving advice to the young, apparently incompetent emperor. It was like teaching a lesson and the only sad thing about it was the fact that Julius would preferably be the next emperor.

  -What makes you say it's an obvious, powerful traitor? - Hadrian asked while he looked Julius directly in the eye.

  Julius smiled crooked, wryly. Julia was almost sure that her father was secretly laughing about Hadrian in his heart. He had this expression he used to have, when he was punishing his slaves. For her, Julius acted just for the devilment. He was on the best way to be called a man, who wantonly destroyed his work of life just by thoughtless obedience to his self-confidence. It was blind stupidity. Julia got scared that her father would get a painful punch and that she would be blamed for it. She already imagined how her way back to Naples would look like, when her father and Cornelius would punish her for everything related to her stay in Britannia.

  -It was obvious that he turned his back on the empire. He betrayed its basic principles on purpose. Additionally, he is powerful, because he is backed up by his followers.

  Hadrian nodded while he contemplated. He looked around again and gazing at Marcus Lucius's mother, he asked for her opinion. She was sitting still and her face didn't change the expression of pleasant politeness.

  -Traitors mostly don't act alone, especially when they are good sons from honourable families. Sometimes it's enough to cut them off the surrounding that infects them in a negative way. - Marcus Lucius's mother looked directly at Julia, when she mentioned the “negative” aspect.

  Julia didn't feel intimidated. She was worried more about other issues than being described in an ugly way. Nerva seemed to be more tense than she was in that moment. Julia already noticed that Nerva would preferably jump to Marcus Lucius's mother and slap her for even thinking that way about the girl. This time, she was the one, who had to cool him down.

  Hadrian nodded and mumbled something, but it was not clear enough to understand. Then, he asked suddenly:

  -What do you think about it, Julius?

  Julius didn't sit down, but he trembled once shortly as his daughter was mentioned without even calling her name. Julius felt a second slap during the evening. He was more or less responsible for his family members. Cornelius disappointed him and his daughter was an even more horrible mistake. Marking his family as “negative surrounding” was a huge offence. It meant that not only Julia was a source danger. He had to isolate himself strongly, clearly from the bad connotations. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts and adapt his plans to the current, negative situation.

  -If the traitor was supported by negative influence, then you should eliminate the source of disturbance as well.

  Julia stunned. She hadn’t expected that and she was sure that she had misunderstood something. Hadrian didn't seem to be surprised at all. He didn't show any emotion. Nerva sighed nervously. His fury wasn't directed against Marcus Lucius's mother, but against Julius. He was ready to leave his own daughter behind to save his reputation. Nerva was ready to fight like the first stars in the universe that were evidently extraordinary hooligans, knocking electrons off atoms, ionizing much of the hydrogen gas in interstellar space.

  -Are you sure that you would proceed that way? Do you mind all consequences? If you need a moment to consider it, take your time. - Hadrian added with sorrow in his voice.

  Julian thanked for the offer, but refused it politely. He thought about his sons, who were able to mourn for the respect of the family. He thought about Cornelius, who wasn't saved yet. Julia's uncle moved nervously and sweat drops appeared on his forehead.

  Julia was paralysed by her father's voice and she didn't move. She was like a sculpture and any attempt to understand what just happened was impossible. If she ever wanted to get an answer from her father, this was the moment of truth. The taste of betrayal was bitter and pungent. Surprisingly, there were no tears in her eyes. Her eyes looked like a wonderful, stable mirror made of ice that glanced, but didn't allow anything to enter into the depth of the frozen water.

  Nerva squeezed Julia's hand and looked impatiently at the emperor. The other soldiers were perplexed. They waited for an order. The music in the background stopped being played and a lifeless stagnancy started to fill the room.

  -If I understood you correctly, Julius, then a traitor and the traitor's supporters should be punished irreversibly, clearly, with death sentences.

 

  -Yes. If they won't be executed, they might forge further inconvenient plans against the republic. - Julius confirmed coldly, emotionless. His lips didn't tremble nervously. He had already made peace with his mind.

  -What would you say about it? - Hadrian looked at Marcus Lucius's mother.

  She seemed not to feel involved into the discussion. Her question was still open. Her eyes showed that she wasn't ready to give up her son. There was headlong fire and furious hate, but nobody was able to define the specific recipient.

  -Wouldn't it be a sign of mercy to let the traitor live? - She asked. She assumed that the emperor hadn’t executed Marcus Lucius yet, otherwise she would be more than useless in cold, rainy Britannia. She wasn't ready to take the corpse of her son with her. She wanted him to live independent of the price it required. - Living with the weight of betrayal can be much more painful than just a simple, quick execution. A soldierly death should be for heroes and good soldiers.

  Hadrian saw Marcus Lucius's mother for the very first time and he as he stepped into the room, he was impressed by her integrity. However, as she just spoke, he noticed that she was highly scared to lose her son. Her forehead was wrinkled, her fingers trembled. She didn't mention her husband, Maximus, directly. She didn't speak Marcus Lucius's name, either. Her words were put together on purpose and strongly communicated her proud, self-controlled way. Still, her voice didn't show the usual strength, the unusual emotion found its way into the tone and strayed chaotically influencing the usually impassive voice. The first parts of the queen of ice and self-confidence started to fall to the ground of real, perceptible fear.

  The room was filled with tension and you could almost cut the molecules of suspense like crushed ice for drinks. Everyone was waiting for a sign, because the tension became unendurable. They all gazed at Hadrian, who sat down and chucked himself under the chin. He was analysing the reviewed issues and took his time to do it. He didn't look at anyone. He rather gazed at a point beyond all people gathered in the room and made it impossible to meet his eyes and see what was going through his soul.

  Nerva trembled every now and then, observed Julia only. The girl did barely breathe. Her heartbeat and pulsations in the veins could be compared to a motionless larvae paralysed by the venom of a braconid wasp. Marcus Lucius's mother on the contrary seemed to be relaxed in a specific way. She observed the emperor making his decision a
nd relied on his goodness and feeling of justice. She knew that she wasn't able to do anything else in that special moment. Everything was said and done. The only thing she could do was waiting patiently for a solution. She leant on the chair freely. Inside, she was tensed extremely. The insecurity was eating her up slowly, but consequently.

  Julius wasn't sure anymore whether he was supposed to remain standing, so he finally sat down as he felt ridiculous to wait for Hadrian to finally decide. The emperor smiled sadly after a while. Then, he breathed in deeply three times and waited another moment to raise his hand and show something only trusted soldiers understood.

  Pompeius and his soldiers appeared. They stepped into the room dynamically, synchronized like a Swiss watch. In nature, swarming plays on the natural physical and psychological vulnerabilities of the victim. The group of soldiers was like a horde of lions on the plains of the Namibian National Park that simultaneously could attack their victims in a coordinated way. It gave the impression that success could increase with group size and would be greater during coordinated group actions. While standing, the soldiers dominated the space. Even the soldiers gathered at the table weren't able to put the force into question that radiated from the new troop. The smaller group saluted as one man and the rest of soldiers didn't react. They were fully armoured and stood proudly ignoring the rest.

  Julia was scared. She wasn't sure what was going on and why the room was filled with warriors. She trembled. Nerva grasped her hand. His face was solidified. After having squeezed his eyes, his eye lids didn't move anymore. Marcus Lucius's mother twitched twice nervously. Julius flinched shortly, then seemed to be waiting for further occurrences showing a relieved, less wrinkled forehead. Hadrian smiled sadly.

  From the large group of soldiers, Pompeius appeared. He stepped to the front and saluted. His face wasn't friendly, the corners of the mouth were pointing downwards.

  -Many bad things happen to us in our life. - Hadrian started rather melancholic than cheerful. - We live and die with hands tied due to our obligations. However, we can celebrate every now and then. It's important to savour the good moments. I promised to celebrate today and I hope you all agree with me. Therefore...

  -What do we celebrate exactly? - Julius interrupted Hadrian's sentence smiling.

  Hadrian smiled even brighter.

  -We celebrate because one thing ends and another begins. - Hadrian answered.

  Julius wasn't pleased by the answer, but denied himself talking. Julia kept the air in her lungs

  -I promised to participate in a wedding. Now, I promise to participate in an execution, as well.

  Julia's face became paler. Nerva's cheeks were red and his fingers trembled nervously. Pompeius smiled in his crooked way. Hadrian moved his head to the left and took three deep breaths. Apparently, it wasn't easy for him.

  -A wedding? - Marcus Lucius's mother was surprised. Her eyes were pointed at the emperor.

  -A wedding?! - Julius shouted like an opposition leader, insulting the leading party.

  -A wedding? - Julia wondered silently, more for herself than with intend to show anything to the surrounding. It sounded dreamy as if she wasn't believing the thought that appeared in her mind, as if the suddenly awoken memory was just a shadow of hope she wanted to maintain. And then, her forehead got wrinkled due to sorrows. - Execution?

  Pompeius stepped away and another man stepped in front of the wall of soldiers. Marcus Lucius was dressed just in the red tunics. It looked minimalistic and he had to be freezing cold in these clothes that didn't allow keeping the warmth. Julius's face was full of condemnation. Marcus Lucius's mother was endlessly relieved. Her happiness was simply visible. She was even more eased than Julia. Her beautiful long eye lashes got wet from the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. She didn't cry. The tears stayed in her eyes. She breathed quickly as if she was trying to get enough air to stay alive.

  -Julia, may I ask you to come closer to me? - Hadrian's tone was friendly. He smiled kindly, appealing.

  Julia looked at Marcus Lucius and his concerned face. For the very first time, his eyes weren't directed straight forward. Instead, he was gazing at the floor. Julia noticed that he was worried. There was something in the air that made him looking like a yardbird. She was afraid that he was a dead man walking. She was happy that he was still alive.

  She stood up and went slowly to the emperor. Her graceful, insecure steps didn't echo in the room, because she tried to walk silently. As she stopped, her eyes were full of questions she had formed in her mind. Her heart added some further concerns and she was one big question mark. Hadrian moved his hand in a gesture that ordered her to calm down.

  -We start with the good things. - He smiled and searched for a sign of cooperation and trust in Julia. She was obviously distracted by Marcus Lucius's presence. Her eyes followed his stature and gazed briefly into Hadrian's direction.

  Marcus Lucius didn't look back at Julia. His eyes were focussed on the floor and he was breathing heavily. Julia recognized his qualm and the only riddle was the reason for his reaction. She ignored her father, who stood up dynamically and ordered her to go back. Julius noticed apparently in which direction this was going.

  -How can you not follow what your father tells you to do? - Julius was angry.

  She didn't react and stopped directly in front of Hadrian. He turned to her while she was already coming towards him. He stood up slowly and smiled. Pompeius gave him a piece of material. It was a bright, slight, but featherstitched belt. Hadrian tied it unhurriedly around her waist in a so called knot of Hercules. Pompeius moved again and brought a flame coloured veil that was small and symbolic. Julia smiled shyly. Her lips trembled. Her eyes got bigger. Marcus Lucius looked at her and couldn't take his eyes of her. He didn't smile with his mouth, but his sad eyes sparkled vigorously.

  -Marcus Lucius, step forward here. - Hadrian said.

  The soldiers moved quickly, shuffling aside to allow him to have enough free space. Marcus Lucius wasn't chained. He made just few steps and stopped next to the girl he loved. He gave the emperor just one gaze, that showed Hadrian amongst all strongly marked gratitude and many mixed emotions at once.

  The emperor didn't stop smiling joyfully as he looked at the couple in front of him. He moved his hand minimally and Pompeius gave a sign to the ranks. An older, wrinkled man with vivid and wise eyes stepped out from the unitary wall of legionnaires and looked to Hadrian. The emperor nodded as a sign of confirmation for the priest's further actions. The old man was the vice-master, and he performed the duties of the Pontifex Maximus. Actually, Pontifex Maximus was one of the many titles of the emperor, slowly fading away from its original, sacral glory and becoming simply a referent for the sacral aspect of imperial duties and powers. The vice-master was responsible for the vestal virgins and apparently, Hadrian brought him to keep the excuse of official celebrations. In that moment, the play-acting became unimportant. The real causes became visible for everyone. The old man slowly walked to Julia and looked her in the eyes. He didn't smile or show any other type of emotion. He was simply curious and as he found what he wanted to find, he turned to Marcus Lucius. A shadow of a smile appeared on his face. Then, he went to the emperor and as Hadrian made a step aside to enable the old man to stand next to him, the priest whispered something into the emperor's ears what made Hadrian smile even brighter. The emperor had to bow minimally to listen to the old man, but he did it with pleasure.

  The old man looked around and when he saw Marcus Lucius's mother, he smiled again. This time, it was an aggrieved smile. As he directed his eyes to the other participants of the ceremony, he mirthlessly gazed at Julius. As he looked at the legionnaires, his eyes were full of pride.

  Julius wanted to interrupt the ceremony, but a group of soldiers reacted immediately. Before Julius was able to step forward, they snarled his way. He had enough space to move freely, but the way to the emperor was simply cut off. He was shifting from one foot to the other and cursed quietly thro
ugh clenched teeth. He was visibly unsettled and unsatisfied.

  -How can you accept such a nonsense? - Julius tried to address his fury to Hadrian, but nothing helped. - He should get executed and not rewarded by a wedlock with my daughter. It's a flagrant violation of the reputation of my family! It's ridiculous!

  Hadrian stayed unresponsive to Julius's remarks. He didn't shrug indifferently. However, the legionnaires around Julius stepped forward and limited the space of Julia's father. He felt intimidated. A malignant smile appeared on Julius's face, but he stopped yelling.

  Marcus Lucius's mother was apparently ignoring the actions related to the upcoming wedding. She was still hugely relieved that her son was alive which brought her the biggest joy. Her eyes were still wet, but no tear flew down along her red cheeks.

  The soldiers stood calmly and with high spirits. You couldn't clearly judge whether it was a positive mood that filled the room or whether it was a sign of gallows humour standing on the doorstep.

  Hadrian gently took Julia's right hand and laid it onto Marcus Lucius's left hand. Her skin was cold, but pleasant to touch. His body was warm and brought enough energy to warm up Julia's hand.

  -Repeat after me, Julia. - The emperor ordered with a friendly tone. - Quando tu Gaius, ego Gaia.

  Julia looked at Marcus Lucius and repeated not too loud and not too quiet:

  -Quando tu Gaius, ego Gaia. - She seemed to be happy to say the chant with words used by all brides and grooms. She remembered how she had said the spell once and what she felt while she whispered for the very first time: When-and where-you are Gaius, I then-and there-am Gaia. She was curious what the future might bring and who the person was she would be married to. This time, she knew who was standing next to her. She was sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Marcus Lucius, even if the dying day would follow faster than she wished. She assumed that a bad, tragic ceremony would follow directly after the good, happy moment. She was still pleased to be able to die as the wife of the man she loved. Even the shortest period of her new marriage was better than the days, weeks, months she was trapped in her old marriage. It was a blessing and the greatest gift she got in her life.

  Marcus Lucius looked at her with love and affection. For a moment, he forgot everything else that he troubleshooted in his mind. This moment of time was so important that the luck and happiness shouldn't be shared with any sad, sorrowed thought or emotion. He smiled and savoured the sight for sore eyes. He dismissed the restless future with its unknown range of tortures. The current moment was crucial. He kissed Julia shortly, gently. Their lips met just for a tiny, faint moment. However, he kept holding her hand strongly. He didn't intend to let her go.

  The wedding ceremony was over too soon. Hadrian looked beyond the couple searching for Julius, who was hard to find between the soldiers. The legionnaires were a head taller than he was. Julius's eyes were glowing adversely.

  -Will you finally execute the traitor so that the harmony and the grace of gods can return to the empire? - Julius asked challenging.

  -Are you sure that you wish me to execute the traitor? - The emperor asked coldly.

  -You promised a dispatch. I'm waiting for you to keep your word. - Julius had a cunning tone in his voice. His crafty eyes followed the slow moves of the emperor.

  Hadrian straightened up and the smile disappeared from his face. There was a sudden tension captured in his body. He pushed Julia into Marcus Lucius’s arms. His gesture was insensitive for the very first time. Marcus Lucius hugged his new wife strongly and watched how eight soldiers taking a long, wooden table out of the emperor’s way. Hadrian stepped forward into the direction of Julius. The legionnaires stepped away from him. The emperor had direct sight at the man, who cursed for the last moments.

  -Do you prefer a soldierly death?

  -He should suffer for all what he has done. - Julius droned unfriendly.

  -The same way that Maximus was suffering when he was dying? - Hadrian asked and everybody in the room kept dead silence.

  Maximus’s name echoed in the room and a thunder of tension filled the veins of the gathered people. Even the priest seemed to be affected. Marcus Lucius's mother stood up suddenly and braced on the table while she bowed over the plates. She wanted to see and hear more than just echoes. Marcus Lucius hugged Julia tighter, even if it seemed to be impossible. His eyes were squinted and the sparkles of happiness in his look had just a moment ago were gone. Julia got scared and trembled. She understood that Hadrian wasn't talking about Marcus Lucius while he argued with her father. It never was about Marcus Lucius. It was about Julius. Julius was the traitor. Julia asked herself if her father was involved in Maximu’s death. Instinctively, she wanted to run to her father and ask directly. She wanted to beg Hadrian for mercy. She wanted to try to save someone, who used to be her father and whose actions were so different from her perception of the person she wanted to see while looking him. As she impulsively tried to go in her father's direction, Marcus Lucius kept holding her in his arms. His embrace was like iron. He didn't say a word. His fingers stroke Julia's hands. It didn't calm her down.

  Suddenly, Julius's face was sallow. He realized the range of danger around him. Even through the polite surface of good will, many life-threatening signals could be decoded. Julius was not dumb and understood quickly how limited he was in his options.

  -What has Maximus to do with the matters of today? - He asked and tried to talk freely, calmly. He obviously noticed into which corner he has driven himself and thought about a possibility to escape.

  -We should clarify the past before we deal with the present day. - Hadrian answered emotionless as he noticed that Julius was aware of the real state of art.

  -What has Maximus's death in common with my humble self? - Julius asked and his voice started squealing. It sounded false. Still, he tried to keep up appearance.

  -As far as I am informed, there are many tangential threads that lead to your humble person. - Hadrian didn't even try to hide his ironic attitude. He was fed up with the game they played. He wanted to put the cards on the table.

  -Many threads? Do you have any concrete facts or are you dealing with assumptions? - Julius pulled himself together and appeared stronger than ever before. He knew that he was gambling for his life. His tone wasn't polite, but also not challenging anymore. It was cold, emotionless.

  Due to the change of Julius's attitude, Hadrian's soldiers moved harmonically like a group of silver coloured fishes with darker spots and reddish tinge to the belly. They didn't attack, but they felt that the prey has already been injured, even though not too visibly. They waited Julius to show a weakness. They stood waiting patiently, and being so disciplined and calm it seemed they didn’t do it for the first time.

  Hadrian smiled crooked. He moved his head and Pompeius stepped forward. Apparently, Pompeius was well-informed.

  -Father of Julia, brother of Cornelius, senator of Rome... - Pompeius started as self-confident as usual. He looked shortly to Julia and meeting Marcus Lucius's eyes he nodded once. It was good to know that Julia wasn't able to move uncontrollably. - Do you remember the siege of Sarmizegetusa in Dacia after the King Decebalus did not respect the peace conditions? Four principal legions, the units X Gemina, XI Claudia, II Traiana Fortis and XXX Ulpia Victrix, were sent there to fight in 106. The army of the Emperor Trajan, and Decebalus took finally place. The empire defeated the Dacians, even if Decebalus and many of his followers escaped the Legions during the siege. They could only be caught by our cavalry, but Decebalus and his supporters killed themselves to avoid capture. The empire won. The Roman Senate celebrated... You already were senator.

  Julius nodded, confirming what Pompeius said. He tried to calculate his options to escape. Leaving the room was almost impossible. Julius never was a skilled soldier like Marcus Lucius or Appius. He could hold a sword, but he wasn't trained to fight in a battle. His entire life, he used his mind to avoid any physical violence. He preferred to draw lines and forge plan
s, to influence others in the way that brought him advantages. He felt comfortable as the master of the puppets. However, he didn't feel so confident now. Some stripes were ripped out of his hands just by knowing which threads were in use. Up to that moment, nothing concrete had been said. He waited for specific accusations.

  -I remember. We celebrated the victory of Rome. - Julius smiled like a snake.

  -You didn't mention the significant casualties the empire had to take in the conquest of Dacia. - Pompeius said and squinted his eyes unfriendly. His tone stayed calm, polite, but sparkles of fury appeared in his eyes.

  -There are always losses in a fight against an enemy. - Julius added.

  -The losses caused by the enemy are predictable and even expected. The losses caused by the own ranks are betrayal. It is hard to forgive an enemy, but it's impossible to forgive someone that should act as a friend. To me, what you did is worse than death and betrayal together. You knew that Maximus was widely popular and admired by his soldiers. You knew that you couldn't fight against him directly. You thought he was sent to Dacia to come back with a promotion. However, you didn't consider that he wasn't interested in a higher rank. The emperor Trajan had offered him a lot, but he refused. You were afraid he would take more influence in the politics, but he didn't intend to cross your way even tangentially. You ordered to kill a man of honour and strength for no reason.

  -How would that work? - Julius denied with his head, but it wasn't convincing. There was a short twitch on his right cheek. It made him look nervous. His briefly unsettled eyes contrasted with his calm posture.

  Pompeius didn't become unfriendly though. His voice didn't include despite or rage. Julia looked shortly at Marcus Lucius, who remained self-controlled. His heart was beating slower than before. His eyes were directed to Julius. His lips were pressed together. His cheeks were saggy. He stopped stroking her, but he didn't let her go. She looked to Hadrian, who stood calmly observing how Pompeius walked here and back. Hadrian's cheeks were saggy and even trembling every now and then. He was focussed on Julius as well. Marcus Lucius's mother sat down as if a huge stone would have been put on her shoulders. She looked as if she would faint any moment. Her eyes were pointed at Julius and her lips wanted to say something, but no curse came from her mouth. Her hands were formed to fists and she was like a female black-spotted, slender and agile cougar known for its silent non-oral communication. She looked like a ambush predator stalking calmly through the bush before leaping powerfully onto the back of its prey injuring the victim. She was tense and looked as she was ready to jump any moment. A couple of soldiers around her had an eye on her to prevent sudden moves.

  -You ordered to poison his water or wine or food. Maximus wasn't killed by the enemy. He was killed for your caprice to remain senator and extend your senatorial influence.

  -With all respect, on what basis you accuse me? - Julius smiled snaky like a lizard able to locate its prey using its keen sense of smell, which can locate a dead or dying animal from far. Julius seemed to be able to recognize someone bluffing. He was completely sure that there were no proves for anything that has been said. In case of an allegation, he was able to talk beautifully convincing in front of his supporters. Over the years, he had been patiently building up the ranks of his followers as well as his reputation. He wasn't ready to give it all up. The precious, collected power was like a drug he was addicted to.

  -Do you remember the day, when Appius executed three soldiers in the yard of your house in Naples?

  Julius didn't change his face expression, but a sparkle in his eyes betrayed that he knew what Pompeius was talking about.

  -I don't. - Julius lied.

  Pompeius smiled even more crooked. He knew that Julius was lying.

  -You had invited him to your house to rest on his way from Britannia. He was accompanied by our emperor at that time. Don't you remember?

  Hadrian waited for Julius's answer. He smiled meaningfully. Any answer could take Julius onto thin ice. Julius smiled hectically.

  -Oh, that time... I remember, of course I remember hosting the man, who became emperor. - Julius smiled mixed up. Again, the insecurity appeared in his startled eyes.

  The soldiers around him moved harmonically again. They acted like a school of fish swimming in the same direction in a coordinated manner. Julius twitched nervously. He wasn’t able to collect his thoughts while they were intimidating them. He wasn't used to protect himself in such soldierly surrounding. His convulsive movement stimulated the legionnaires as a blood drop lures a shark to come closer to a victim. Julius shrugged again. He didn't feel comfortable at all.

  -If you remember that, why don't you remember the execution of three soldiers of yours? - Pompeius asked unpleasantly.

  Julius kept silent. Julia struggled with herself. Marcus Lucius stood like a stone and didn't move at all. His tense muscles didn't tremble. His eyes were on fire. Marcus Lucius's mother was tense, but also shivering nervously.

  -After the execution, Appius was sure that he had killed all traitors. - Pompeius said. - And then, he found someone, who had been involved in the matter years ago.

  Julius was at once strained and red like hell: Pompeius’s latest remark let his stature appear even tenser. He was petrified. Pompeius used the moment and started telling a story that didn’t have any anything in common with Julius's case at a first glance:

  -There was a soldier, who apparently married a wrong girl. - Marcus Lucius's mother look went from Julius to Pompeius. She analysed who she was supposed to attack in the first place. She stood up hastily, as she assumed that she didn’t like this story to become public. She didn't know in which context Pompeius wanted to tell a story about a soldier and a wrong girl, but the beginning was annoying. As she suddenly changed her position, two soldiers appeared next to her with the same accelerated speed. They blocked her attempt to make a step in any direction.

  Marcus Lucius didn't struggle whether he should go to her mother and help her or whether he should stay at Julia's side. He seemed to be put out, even if he backed away minimally. Julia wondered why he was so strange. She assumed he loved and respected his mother. It didn't look that way. He rather wished to disappear than to step forward and help his mother, who seemed to feel uncomfortable. Julia looked to the woman, whose power and dignity started fading away.

  Marcus Lucius looked to Pompeius, then to Hadrian. Hadrian returned his look and by a minimal movement of his hand showed him not to act. It was a clear, unmistakable gesture. Marcus Lucius hesitated, but he kept his position. Julia felt his heart starting to beat so quickly that she was afraid he would lose it any moment. She was tense, but primarily sorrowed about Marcus Lucius’s reaction. She cuddled herself to him and tried to minimize the distance between them. It was a heart-directed attempt to calm him down without words, without giving anyone else a hint. Her move was very intimate and gentle. He noticed it, but didn't visibly react to it. His heart rushed furthermore. She didn't know why he was so perturbed. She didn't know any reason why he could be ticked off with his own mother.

  -The soldier was married and happy about the life he had. - Pompeius continued softly, but aloud. Some legionnaires nodded with acceptance. Pompeius didn't smile. He cautiously observed how Julius reacted. He seemed to relax a bit, because the story didn’t seem to be connected to his case. - -He was respected by the soldiers and the commanders. He was successful in all the different regions he was sent to and he brought peace to conflict areas...

  -Why do you tell me the story? - Julius talked high-toned.

  Julia was disturbed by the one-upmanship of her father. And Marcus Lucius’s behaviour made her almost mad. His eyes showed that he was upset, angry and annoyed. She wasn't sure what happened in his heart. Outwardly, he was still immovable. However, his inside pulsated like the very fluid lava under a smooth, congealing surface crust.

  Julia got the hint which specific person the story was about. It was very obvious for anyone to decode the message. She started wonder
ing whether Marcus Lucius really used to be very happy with his marriage and how much he was missing his killed wife. Then, she got scared and ashamed that she was the one on the way to revenge. If he hadn’t pretended to be her husband, he would definitely have had enough time to detect the one, who had ordered the killing. Suddenly she felt lost and more confused than ever before. If she didn’t have anyone to rely on, this was the darkest moment of her life. After having married Maxentius, she already felt vulnerable, exposed and alone. However, her hate and disappointment towards the people around her made her lose her strength slowly, continuously. This moment of brainwave made her feel as if she wanted to push a sword into her belly. Within one flash, she became aware that she was the only holdback for Marcus Lucius. She was blocking his mission and kept him away from what he had planned. She wondered whether he had a soft spot for her just because she looked similar to his killed wife. Was his affection just a mixture of obligation and reflected love for another woman? Julia completely lost her mind. She imploded internally. Her body showed how cool she was, but her inside was falling apart. Everything started losing its priority and meaning. She listened to the words that were said, but with every further breath, she was losing her sense of life like a balloon that was stabbed with a knife.

  Marcus Lucius was too busy with his rage to notice how Julia felt. He was strained and focussed on his basic, limited functions. He held her and tried not to forget that she was wounded on the arm near to her wrist. He noticed her attempt to distance herself, but he assumed it was due to an imaginary, narrowing bight around her father's neck. She seemed to be fine, so he tried to concentrate on the unratable, undefined issues around him.

  -Be patient, Julius, it's indeed relevant for you. - Pompeius smiled in his strange, meaningful way, while watching how the man tried to put the pieces of information together. - One day, he suddenly disappeared. Some started comparing losing him with the loss of his father, a famous and widely respected soldier. Some started wondering why history was repeating itself. Just a small group stood up and helped the soldier in the hard times. One went back to the place, where the great warrior fell. Julius, listen, it's related to you. - Pompeius didn't even look at Julius, but it was clearly perceptible that Julius looked around insecurely. - The one wouldn't have gone there, if the soldier hadn’t been missed. He went there to find the greatest commander to consult with. Then, another coincidence happened. Julius, it's also relevant for you. - Pompeius added and attracted Julius’s attention again. Pompeius savoured the moment of abasement. It was part of his revenge. - There was a soldier, who jabbered too much while he was drunk.

  Pompeius stopped for a moment and looked Julius directly in the eyes. He didn't move as he continued with an ice-cold, middle-loud voice:

  -He laughed about an opportunity to eliminate someone in a way that wouldn’t raise any attention again. - Pompeius droned “again” in a special way. - He giggled about a family tradition. He was reliably informed and this was how we were able to decode the source of the matter. We always knew that there was someone beyond the three executed soldiers.

  Julius's face became white as snow. His legs were shaky and his eyes looked desperately for rescue. Unfortunately, there was no support for him. Even his brother didn't move any muscle to help. In Cornelius’s case, it wasn't sure for which reasons he kept the distance. Maybe it was fear, that prevented him from acting.

  Julia trembled. The rest of her hopes and wishes she had brought into the marriage were gone. Instead, she had to grasp for a shadow of honour she could find in her soul had to be at a premium. She had to protect her father, although not at any price. She was too confused to take sides, but she had to react. Marcus Lucius breathed deeply. His heartbeat decreased rapidly. The more perceptible Julia became the more he felt forced to give her back up.

  Marcus Lucius's mother was mixed up. Her usual stalk-and-ambush predator presence melted away. Instead, she was more like a domestic, moody cat you keep as a less dangerous pet. Even though she still she seemed to have a strong, flexible body and quick reflexes, you could notice the lack of sharp retractable claws to be used any moment. She looked unarmed and overwhelmed. Marcus Lucius didn’t know whether she was angry about the just announced fact that Maximus was killed or about “the wrong girl”.

  The soldiers around didn't look friendly anymore. They looked like a grind of sharks that can smell one drop of blood in a million drops of water, already smelling the fear of their prey.

  Julia looked at Marcus Lucius and her begging eyes forced him to let her go. As she stepped forward, her moves were rather insecure. Her face showed refusal, longing and compassion. She walked through the room and stopped just two meters in front of her father. Marcus Lucius was indecisive what to do. He allowed Julia to act on her own, but he kept an eye on her. When he checked whether Hadrian or Pompeius were up to interrupt the scene, both commanders showed him by a short movement to keep calm. It reassured him that no intervention was needed.

  Julius was too distracted by his daughter moving towards him, because real motion correspondingly stimulates different parts of the light-sensitive tissue lining the inner surface of the eye serially according some laws of perceptual organization. It was very rare for Julius to focus completely on his daughter, although the moment passed by quickly.

  -Is it all true? - She whispered with hope in her voice. Her heart wished that a “No” would follow as an answer. However, her mind was already sure that she didn't need an answer. Her father’s slap took her by surprise. Before her father slugged her in the face, Marcus Lucius jumped and held back Julius's arm. Julia was confused. Julius was hurt. When Marcus Lucius grasped for the wrist, a bone got broken. The sound of crunching bones couldn't be overheard. Some muscles were injured. Julius contorted with pain and furious anger. The more he tried to free himself, the more painful it became to move. Marcus Lucius's face was emotionless. His grasp was ineffable. His eyes conveyed a clear message without using any word.

  -You never listen to what I say. - Julius grand out. - You were supposed to be my daughter and you failed.

  Marcus Lucius moved his head with refusal. His grasp got stronger. Julius fizzed unpleasantly with hate. Marcus Lucius ignored it, because he had heard worse things already. He stood between Julia and her father. Pompeius smirked. Hadrian looked aside as if he was giving a silent permission to keep the status quo at least for a while. Marcus Lucius's mother smiled tensely and sneeringly. She was extraordinary proud of the speed and the good reactions her son presented. She even stepped closer into Marcus Lucius's direction, but one look of him brought her back to the place she was before. She understood that he knew the truth and that he wasn't ready to negotiate at all. The hate and disappointment in his eyes made her scared, but she took it with grace. Only her eyes betrayed that she wasn't fine. She took a deep breath and straightened her back. Her lips were pressed to each other and her hands built fists. Her arms were laid along the body and she didn't intend to move at all. She wanted to ask her son whether they could talk, if not today, then tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or somewhere in the future. Maybe he even read the question from her face expression, because he shook his head twice with refusal. With his entire posture he communicated the rising distance between them. As his mother opened her lips to start talking, he just whispered determined, coldly:

  -Do not even try...

  Then, he stopped looking at her directly. Her statue was still in his sight, but he ignored her presence. Julia didn't get it at all, because she was still shocked by the fact that her father wanted to slap her heavily. She hadn’t expected it. The image of him that she carried in her heart started breaking apart and the entire world didn't make much sense anymore. She wanted to die so strongly that she would even take her dagger and injure herself, if she had it with her. She stepped just two meters back, found a secure place behind Marcus Lucius, and watched from an uncomfortable angle how his hand kept holding Julius strongly. The grasp was increasingly painful f
or the senator. Marcus Lucius pressed even tighter and Julius yawped. Julia couldn't listen to any sign of pain, so she impulsively laid her hand on Marcus Lucius's shoulder. It was a sign to let go. Marcus Lucius pushed the opponent away. He didn't put all his powers into that push but it was enough to make Julius lose his balance. Julia's father fell on the armoured soldiers behind his back. He got up on his own and he pointed a finger from his healthy hand at his daughter. His statue trembled from nervousness and fury.

  -What will you be without me? - He asked smirking meanly.

  The soldiers behind him were ready to intervene, if necessary. However, the straight and challenging position of Marcus Lucius deterred Julius from any bodily action. Julia took two deep breaths and her glowing forehead got sweaty. She didn't like it. Suddenly she felt very hot and her legs became shaky. The mass of soldiers, the emperor and even Marcus Lucius's mother faded into an inessential grey background that didn't catch her attention. Indeed, she was focussed on her father's eyes and she whispered slowly, clearly:

  -I forgive you, because you were my father, but you are a mean, small-minded, selfish man. I'm going to learn how to live without you. - Then, she hid completely behind Marcus Lucius's back. Her cheeks were glowing as if she got burnt by hot iron. She trembled and tried not to cry. It was really hard to leave the past behind. The place behind Marcus Lucius's back seemed to be the only possible place in the wide, wicked world that gave her enough energy to keep standing.

  -What are you staring at?! - Julius screamed at Marcus Lucius scornfully. - You will die sooner than you think. You're not even worth of getting poisoned. You'll die just after me.

  Marcus Lucius didn't move. He stayed calm and he looked at the old, lost, weak man. It wouldn't be even fair to ask for a duel. Julius wouldn’t have any chances against him. Marcus Lucius breathed deeper once and as he noticed the hand of Julia on his shoulder, he said quietly:

  -A wise man said once that no one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. I am ready for anything that might come. Are you ready as well?

  Pompeius smiled contemptuously and woefully at once. The voice of Marcus Lucius reminded him inconsolably of Maximus. Its low sound was so recognizable and so calm that Pompeius could swear it was Maximus there, speaking to a man who had violated the rules of solidarity. Pompeius had heard the phrase once from Marcus Lucius's father and it sounded as important and worth memorizing.

  Hadrian smiled mournfully. He had heard a lot of stories about Maximus and he wished he had spent time with the respected warrior, but Maximus's son was a worthy successor: Like father, like son. It would be a failure to abandon such a remarkable man. Therefore, Hadrian stepped minimally forward and spoke distinctively:

  -The wise man also said that one loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. - The emperor smiled more sanguinely. He liked Euripides and mentioning one of Euripides's quotes gave the son of Maximus a further advantage in the area charm and good education. Additionally, Marcus Lucius's allegiance had been proven not only once. Hadrian didn't have to think long to make his decision. - The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. Confession and clear-headedness will never be signs of betrayal. This man was punished enough. He is a good soldier of Rome and the empire will use his skills as agreed. He will keep the command of the camp and he will get the responsibility for the task he suggested.

  Marcus Lucius bowed his head. He already knew the agreement. As Hadrian started speaking, he turned a bit into the emperor's direction so he could both, Hadrian and Julius.

  -Take your bride and go. - Hadrian ordered. - After the wedding ceremony, we should have ended by giving out pieces of wedding cake, not judgements about life or death. We'll postpone it to the next day. We'll meet here at the sunrise.

  Marcus Lucius looked at his mother and Julius. He didn't move or say a word, but it wasn't necessary. He had already won an overview of who was standing and acting in what way. Then, he checked Julia's face expression again. She was apparently calm, but her eyes lids shivered. He knew that face expression. She was confused and scared. She wasn't sure what to do and whom to trust. Her eyes were directed at Marcus Lucius. She needed an order, otherwise, she would stand like a sculpture for days. She doubted and he was the only person around who could help her to make a decision. He waited for her to calm down internally. He smiled minimally, but the signal was already communicated. She nodded briefly, slightly. She put everything on Marcus Lucius at once. Her mind doubted whether it was a good decision. Her heart was sure that he wouldn't let her go, but it also repeated that she kept him away from his first, private mission.

  -Just go. - Hadrian smiled. He had followed the nominal communication between Marcus Lucius and Julia. It was a pleasure to see how innocent they were in their love. He didn't see the doubts of the girl. It wasn't visible for him how she struggled with herself internally.

  Julius ignored his daughter completely as if she wouldn't be worthy of even a brief look. His abandoned face expression was addressed to Marcus Lucius, who was undeniably the winner of the evening. Julius hadn’t expected the young soldier to get his freedom back. It was shocking and unbelievable. It had seemed to be impossible up to the moment, when it happened.

  Marcus Lucius saluted finally. Then, he came closer to his bride and turned to her. He took her hand and let her through the room. She didn't oppose, although she didn't look totally convinced. She was like a ship that drifted on the sea directed by the power of stream. The soldiers around them stepped aside so that the couple was able to leave. The legionnaires looked at Marcus Lucius with the highest respect. The news about his contribution to the camp development and the battle had made already wider rounds. The soldiers felt honoured to be a part of the rising legend. Marcus Lucius wasn't aware of it, but the rumours were faster and more perceptible than Marcus Lucius would have ever assumed. He was too focussed on the direct issues to consider further aspects of the matter.

  The corridor wasn't bright enough, so he took one of the burning torches to be able to see on the way to Julia's old chamber. His steps were certain and somewhat relieved. He led the woman he loved to the place, where they had already lived a pretended life and from that evening, the pretence wasn't needed anymore. They were married and they should celebrate their moment. None of them was able to switch to a happy, shiny mood. Some worries lay on their shoulders and bedevilled the inglorious outburst of positive emotions.

  Surprisingly, the fireplace had already been prepared and the chamber was cosy, warm. Marcus Lucius came closer to the fire and watched how the flames licked the pieces of wood. He sunk into thoughts as if he was going through the occurrences of the day once again. Julia embraced him around the waist. She glued to him and waited for him to say something. She wanted to hear that everything would be all right. She didn't wish anyone to be executed. Her father was a fool of vanity and overestimation. However, he was still her father and nothing could change it. On the one hand, she was interested in his punishment. Then again, she wanted to support him, even if he didn’t know about her actions. She wasn't sure whether Marcus Lucius could influence anything and whether it was advisable to ask him for a favour. He was just off the hook and she didn't wish to bring him into any ambiguously situation ever again. On impulse, she glued stronger to Marcus Lucius's back and breathed hastily.

  -They won't get executed. Don't worry. - He whispered with a heavy heart.

  His heart was beating surprisingly slow. It was calming and impressed her at the same time. Even without any eye contact, she noticed that he knew more than he admitted, but he didn't share the details with his wife. After having spent the day in the camp and making arrangements, he was aware of some additional issues that played a role in the big picture and that were a ballast on his shoulder. Sometimes, things could be easier, if a person was kept in the dark. A blithely ignorant attitude simplified many decisions and took care of a better, deeper sleep without nightmares. Sharing the bad news would unburden h
im personally, but it would mean shoving the weight of the inglorious ballast on Julia’s shoulders. Marcus Lucius didn't intend to share his problems with Julia – at least not that night. She already had enough negative thoughts and confusion in her head. That dodgy situation could bring him negative credits, if Julia felt overlooked or if she didn’t follow his reasons to act protectively. Still, he wished to keep her far away from the brutality of the big picture.

  -How do you know it? - She doubted. She was extraordinarily mixed up, mostly by her father's behaviour and actions. Additionally, Marcus Lucius's answer brought up new questions.

  Marcus Lucius noticed her increasing confusion and he decided to explain at least the general frame he got to know that day. Her shivering body spread nervousness and he had to bring back some good vibrations. His hands touched her fingers lying on his chest. Stroking her skin, he tried to put his words into short, informative sentences without any emotional influence:

  -I spent my whole day with Pompeius. We talked a lot. He informed me about many things and I listened. He said I won't be executed, but I had to swear that I will keep distance to all that might happen tonight. Pompeius announced in front of the camp that I'll stay in charge as the camp commander, and he is still the governor of Britannia. Directly speaking, he is my commander and I have to follow his orders. I can live with that. - Marcus Lucius sounded relieved and he even smiled while he remembered the soldiers from the camp, who saluted with silence and respect as they listened to Pompeius’s announcement. They were proud and felt satisfied that a good man wasn't punished for doing good things. He felt enormously backed up by them.

  -It doesn't mean that my father and your mother will stay alive. - Julia almost fell apart into thousands of pieces. She didn't realise that Marcus Lucius was saved once for all.

  -I said that I will keep my distance under the term that nobody will get killed.

  Even through his calm, friendly tone, Julia decoded that the information she got was just the tip of the iceberg of things Marcus Lucius knew and still didn't tell her. His calming way of being was everything she needed at the moment. If he was able be so relaxed, it meant that it had a deeper sense and that they could live with it.

  -Nobody will get killed? - She said doubtfully. - You...

  -I am safe. You are safe. Nobody will die. - He underlined and kissed her trembling fingers. He was still not able to see her face, but he felt her cheeks on his back.

  She nodded automatically and the touch of his lips calmed her down visibly. She focussed on the input she could handle. When she got more feedback, she wouldn't know what to elaborate at first. Therefore, she had two construction zones to work on: Marcus Lucius was safe for the moment, but her father was still in big trouble. Julia breathed heavily, but relieved. Her heart was torn apart due to the latest occurrences.

  -Good, good. - She mumbled nervously. - Nobody will die. Nobody...

  Marcus Lucius felt her tears on his back. She trembled chaotically and he wanted to turn around, but she was hugging him so tight he couldn’t.

  -Julia... - He whispered to make her ease the embrace.

  -No, no... Just give me a moment. I don't want you to see me now. I'm awful. - She cried and he wasn't sure how to handle it. He used his strength and moved against her will. He turned to her and took her face in his hands. She was still embracing him with her arms, but tried to hide her face from his eyes. She couldn't control what happened with her, because she had no protective shield. All gathered sources of energy were already exploited. She didn’t have any further strength to pretend anything. She was falling apart and with every second, further fears and doubts reached her mind. When one construction area was closed, another appeared. She was like a colander that let the fluids pass by freely.

  -You are beautiful. You are strong. - He whispered calmly and he meant it. She was the most incredible person he ever met.

  She denied with her head, still crying. He kissed her and hugged decisively. His chin landed on her forehead and his fingers stroked her back.

  -What will you do about your mother? What is her crime? - She asked after a while. Her voice betrayed more tears. The question was rather a distraction for her, because the issue of his mother wasn't the most important one for her. She needed something to catch, before mutating into a river of tears and doubts.

  -Pompeius told me that she was behind the murder of Decima. - Marcus Lucius said after he took a deep breath. It wasn't easy to speak it out aloud. He still hadn’t reviewed it for himself and sharing the news brought another level of complication into the matter.

  -She did what?! - Julia was surprised and she would have even stepped back automatically, if Marcus Lucius hadn’t kept her hands next to his chest. It made it impossible for her to move away from him.

  The distraction technique was successful. Julia was occupied with a new, dissident thought for a moment. Marcus Lucius smiled as he noticed Julia's outrage.

  -She was the one who made a deal with Quintus. She wanted Decima to vanish and he used the moment for himself. - Marcus Lucius gave some background information without any emotions in the tone.

  -So she didn't try to kill you... - Julia derived correctly, but still shocked. One thought brought her to another disturbing matter. Her mood switched back to the tone of depression mixed with doubts.

  He grasped her fingers stronger and tried not to lose her. Something changed and he wasn't sure what it was. However, it didn't feel good. Julia was on an ad course and it sorrowed him. Before he could react in any way, Julia laughed shortly, hysterically:

  -I'm not better than she was. I am a daughter of a non-noble man.

  Marcus Lucius was already insecure what he was supposed to do and her laughing attack unarmed him completely. If she would tell him what was wrong with her, it would be too easy to handle. It would take away the fun of guessing. She didn't look at him, she didn't listen to him anymore. He wasn't sure what to do, so eventually he sat down next to her. As absolutely nothing happened for some moments, he wasn't able to stay motionless, without action. She was back in reality, but she ignored him anyway.

  However, he knew her already long enough to know that she was stronger than she ever imagined, even when she was lying trembling, doubting and caught in feeling the smallest particle of the world. She wasn't aware that she was like Saturn's moon Mimas appearing near Saturn truly and reliably visible in the far northern and southern hemispheres of the planet.

  He thought it would be good to confirm his feelings for her:

  -As long as my heart beats... - He started.

  -No, no, no. - Her voice sounded unfamiliar as she interrupted him. It was like a cut of a sword. Her head movements showed refusal. Her eyes were dashed. She already had a plan to isolate herself from his life like she had already planned other actions without involving him in the past. Her tenacity was remarkable. He smiled cordially. She was the woman, who could spread enough power to impress him even in her weakest moments.

  -You are my tower of strength. - He whispered and forced her to look him in the eyes.

  She stopped laughing nervously and her wet cheeks trembled hysterically for a while. She knelt down and slowly sat down on the cold, unpleasant floor that cooled her down. She needed to feel the chilled down reality. It brought her more inner peace. Marcus Lucius's hands held her gently on her wrists and he bowed to her. She was down and he had to cheer her up, give her the stability she needed. He bowed even lower and lifted her. She didn't resist. After the roller coaster of emotions, she was empty like rain drops or even ice particles and snow, when temperatures are cold enough, condensed from atmospheric water vapour into low-level cloud and then, became heavy enough to fall under gravity. There had to be something comparable to a multicoloured rainbow after the storm was over.

  He brought her to the bed. He cuddled up to her stroking her back. Her head was next to his chest and she was listening to his heartbeat. She was still minimally shivering. He wasn't sure whether she was cold
or simply still confused.

  -It's fine. - He started repeating with his low, pleasant voice. It took a while until he noticed the first, small success. He claimed words he often heard from her while she took care of him during the days he was weak:

  Oh soul, torn by unbearable concerns,

  Stand up, defend yourself from your enemies,

  Outsmart them moving cautiously

  through their ambushes.

  But do not triumph when you win,

  nor lay down crying when defeated,

  Nor get overjoyed in your joys,

  or overwhelmed in your sorrows

  just learn what rhythm governs human affairs.

  He wasn't sure whether she listened to him, but she wasn't crying anymore. She wasn't laughing anymore. Finally, she was calm. Her breath was regular. However, her body felt like rubber: it was flexible and empty. Marcus Lucius didn't stop stroking her and claiming the engraved verses. She listened to him and kept silent. When he thought she was calm enough, he moved her chin gingerly and looked her in the eyes. She looked tired and upset, but also confused and depressive. She didn't look good. Though, he smiled. Her soulful eyes were full of compulsory redemption clauses.

  -You shouldn't. - She whispered frosted, unvarnished.

  -I shouldn't what? - He wondered, because he didn’t have any clue what she meant.

  She seemed to be miles away from the place her body was. He kept smiling warm enough to keep the good mood for them both. It felt right to be next to her. He was the primary rainbow and he wished to see the second arc reflecting his composure.

  -You shouldn't stay with me. Leave me, as long as you can. Go and have your revenge. You have an obligation beyond this life. As a noble man, you should settle the score. Leave me. - She whispered without hesitation.

  -I'll stay with you no matter what happens. - He announced and stroked her cheek. She tried to avoid it, but it wasn't possible. His fingers moved placidly, tamely. As she wanted to get up, he forced her to stay. It was somewhat brutal, so she moaned automatically. He used her power to bring her closer. She wasn't scared, rather irritated. He didn't tell her that he had to decide whether he would go and have his revenge on Quintus or stay with Julia. Pompeius repeated the question that the emperor had asked already that morning. Marcus Lucius chose life and not chasing shadows of the past. Pompeius seemed to be surprised with the decision, but Marcus Lucius didn't know that it rather was the fact how fast he announced this decision, Pompeius was wondering about.

  -I'm trying here... - She gathered her powers and it looked cute how she wanted to stay on distance. - I'm trying to send you away. - She said louder and was taken aback.

  He stopped smiling. She was a riddle and every time, he thought she was close to him, she seemed to be miles away. The closer he tried to be the more impossible it was. He kissed her suddenly, because he couldn't find any words. She didn't oppose, but didn't join in. She was too weak to protest and too far away to stay on the right track.

  -I am not going anywhere. - He underlined his statement clearly. He wanted her to come back to the track that they could follow together. He kissed her again and this time, Julia lost herself shortly in the depth of the kiss. It was a sign that she hadn’t fallen completely out of satellite range.

  -I am beneath you. - She added immediately and sadly as she suddenly moved away. She seemed to be scared, but not of Marcus Lucius, rather of herself.

  Marcus Lucius's arms prevented her from escaping too far away from him. He smiled. She was like comets with their volatile ices, dust and frozen gases on collision course. She needed the announcement that she couldn't impeach easily.

  -I am not going anywhere. - He repeated strongly. He didn't want her to decide to separate. Her eyes reminded him about the expression she had that day she thought he would go back to Appius. He remembered how he came back and saw her with cut veins. Just her unskilled moves prevented her death. He had promised to himself not to give her any further opportunity to go in that direction again.

  Julia trembled even stronger. Her thoughts were still at the apogees from him.

  -What will you do about your mother? - She asked out of nowhere after a moment. It was like a cold shower and Marcus Lucius trembled. He didn't hide anything from her anymore. He could be honest and react spontaneously in her company. His forehead got wrinkled. An unpleasant sparkle appeared in his eyes. She noticed that he didn't like to talk about it.

  -I won't talk with her ever again.

  -That's all?

  It wasn't a statement, it wasn't a question. It was something in between. It included her worries about her father, Marcus Lucius's will to ignore his own mother, feeling of being unworthy... It was her doubt whether the wedding was forced or what might change in the future. Everything she could think of got cumulated into a strange, insecure tone and determined the melody of the question. Julia was simply overwhelmed by emotions and questions. Marcus Lucius noticed that she was on the way to fall dangerously apart. He pushed her to his body and pressed carefully, but decisively.

  -Just tell it. - He whispered confused and stroked her hair.

  She flinched. Her heart got a stitch and she couldn't control herself. It was simply too much for such a varied day. Marcus Lucius looked closer at her. There was a question in her eyes she didn't dare to ask. Something bothered her and he wanted to know what it was. Without knowing what it was, he couldn't support her in the optimal way.

  -Tell me... - He tried to encourage her, but there was a kind of wall between them. The locked coffin with a secret was hid in the far corner of Julia's heart. It wasn't able to grasp for it.

  She was indecisive for another moment. She wanted to ask him when he fell in love with her. She was insecure whether he was in love with her, because of herself or because she was looking so similar to his dead wife. This question went to the ground and surfaced every now and then. It attacked her mind subconsciously, regularly, suddenly. Then, she gathered herself and asked something else with trembling voice:

  -Why don't you revenge your wife first?

  His smile was sad, crooked and so different to all the smiles she had ever seen on his face. He felt that this wasn't the question she wanted to ask at first. He wasn't sure about, whether she didn't trust him enough to form the question or whether the secret was so sore that she wasn't able to speak about it aloud. He didn’t have any clue in which direction her fear was going. He wasn't very happy about the sidestep she made. He didn't want to speak about his mother. Since he knew the truth, he wasn't able to stay calm about the topic. He felt as if he was walking on a farcical surface and unintentionally forced to find the deceiving truth at that one point.

  -You are my wife. - He answered.

  -I meant... - She tried to add something, but wasn't sure whether she really was ready to ask directly what came to her mind. She started to explain, but as she looked at Marcus Lucius, she knew it was unnecessary.

  He assumed what she was thinking about or at least, he made reference to Julia's last words. He remembered the moment when Hadrian mentioned the unavoidable question. He thought about his dead wife, about the woman, who ordered Decima to be killed, and about the woman he fell in love with. There were three women in his life and they represented different characters. While he was imprisoned for several days, he thought about many things, amongst all about his revenge. He had enough time to take emotional and rational arguments under consideration. There was the changeless, incurable past and there was a future that had already started and that could be developed without any ballast that had to be put aside. He thought about it and knew that he couldn't go both ways at the same time. He knew that he had to decide sooner or later. In the end, he went with his gut. He had chosen life, the future, love. He didn't give up his will to have revenge, but the priority of the task changed.

  -I know what you mean. - He said and stroked her cheek. - I am here for you. I won't forget Decima, but I am here for you.

  She decided not t
o articulate her deeper doubts. His words were like balm for the soul. The coldness melted away. The distance between them decreased. She was relieved for the moment. Her eyes got a special, warm expression and the sparks of affection that Marcus Lucius had missed already returned. He kissed her and she seemed to be fully concentrated on the kiss that included not only love, passion and affection, but also respect, friendship and gratitude for given help. The kiss evaluated from a gentle touch of their lips into a fervent, uncontrolled energy. As Marcus Lucius left her a moment to take a breath, her cheeks were red and her fingers trembled from good vibrations. He smiled, because he steered her into the right direction.

  -Quando tu Gaius, ego Gaia... - She whispered calmer. Her eyes sparkled.

  Marcus Lucius felt unconditionally, unlimited happy for the very first time that day. Her confession confirmed what he already assumed. She was on the right track again and he loved it. He kissed her again and his mind was relieved. He felt that they were united and her words were the true marriage clause for him. This wonderful moment was the real wedding for him. It was private, sacred, touching. It wasn't pretended or said to please the surrounding. It wasn't forced by any emperor or family member. It wasn't forced by a caprice from upper allies or a last-minute shot of being in love.

  His warm hands stroked her stronger and didn't limit themselves to touching just her cheeks or hair. His lips found her lips quickly and after exchanging gentle, elongated kisses, the passion increased slowly, but continuously. Although they wanted to rip off their clothes and come to the final of the ecstasy, Marcus Lucius didn't want to rush anything. It was the very first night they were so close to each other. After many break-even-points and risks, Marcus Lucius wanted to savour the night that felt like rebirth. With Julia at his side, he had changed into a good direction. When he married Decima, he was a silly boy, who tried to make his first independent steps. With the second marriage, he became a man he never expected to be. The life gave an edge to his character and he saw what he was capable to endure. Feeling Julia's naked body with his fingers, going over her scars and seeing the sparkles in her eyes confirmed he was going the right way. He felt good and for the very first time, he felt to be in the right place at the right time. He didn't feel like being on the run from his father's shadows or on the lam from his mother's political wishes.

  As he kissed her warm, pleasant skin and stroked her arms, legs, belly, breasts and thighs, he felt how much he had missed her proximity. He never felt that way towards Decima. He never felt so happy and over the moon as when he felt the warmth and responsive touch of Julia.

  The ripped muscles moved harmonically. The length of breath got shorter and showed an extraordinary portion of desire. Sweat drops appeared on the naked, tanned skin. The pressure of urge increased and filled the room. Marcus Lucius's arms embraced Julia, who silently moaned with pleasure in a beautifully modulated voice. Her fingers tried to keep him tight.

  -I will follow you in this life and in the afterlife. Do you understand? - He said as Julia lay in his arms and tried to catch her breath. She trembled, but it felt brilliant.

  She nodded quickly and wanted to add something, but her breath was still too short to last out a sentence. He pressed her shivering body to his and he didn't expect anything to be said. The real emotions don't need to be articulated in words. Both Marcus Lucius and Julia knew and felt that they were one in the specific way that is preserved for people who love each other unconditionally.

  She wasn't just the second, reflected rainbow, because she spread the same energy with the same intensity as the primary rainbow. It was the very first time Marcus Lucius was able to sleep freely and calmly.